Flashback Friday # 169

Technologically Impaired

Welcome one & all to this last FBF of the year.

I've mentioned that one of the clubs that I joined in high school was the Media club. The Media club were, for lack of better words, the geeks of the school. We were all student librarians and helpers in the library. The president was always a senior.

The current president was voted class clown of his graduating class. He was an absolute riot. When a new piece of equipment came in, he showed it even more.

This piece of equipment was a picture viewer (like a slide projector that was hooked up to a TV). You recorded comments about the pictures and played them back during the slide show. Sort of like a powder point presentation of the day.

The president, Arnie, set up the contraption and began flashing pictures across the screen. He gave a hilarious comment for each and every picture for about a half hour. We were holding our sides with laughter at the end of the demonstration.

He then set the viewer to rewind and we were going to watch the whole thing again on TV with all the captions. When the program came on there was one problem. The "record button hadn't been depress, or the pause button released (I can't remember which). None the less, the were no pictures with comments. Since meeting time was rapidly coming to and end, He did about five pictures, with the recording on this time. Even techno geeks can mess things up by times.

Mt. Dew Call of Duty

Here's a shout out to everyone who has entered codes from the Mt. Dew Call of Duty sweepstakes. I need one card to complete the series. It ends Dec. 31. If you can help, I'd appreciate it. I have lots & lots of cards to trade. Click here to check it out.

Flashback Friday # 168

OCD Tree, OCD Tree, How Beautiful Are Your Branches

Greeting to all. Are you ready for Christmas yet? I'm not, and wasn't when I was younger until the task of putting up the Christmas tree was finished.

As I was putting up the tree this year, my wife was running errands. When she got home, I was putting on the finishing touches. She commented that I decorate it really nice. Every thing looked just where it looked like it should be. I told her there was a reason for that. Mom was very OCD about the Christmas tree.

When I was much younger, the task of putting up the tree fell to me & Sir Gattabout. The ornaments were evenly distributed to the tune of making sure we had the exact same everything. A line of demarcation was made, and I had to decorate my side & Gattabout did his. Mom would pipe up "There's to many blue ornaments in that particular area." or "You can't put those ornaments next to each other, they're the same shape. I had to watch where Gattabout put his ornaments so I could judge where mine could go.

When Gattabout joined the Army, the tree task fell solely on my shoulders. I would have to scale the ladder and climb into the attic to drag everything out (including the tree). It had been drilled into me, same colored ornaments can't be near each other. Similar shapes couldn't either. I would take all the similar ornaments and put them on first. One at the bottom, one in the middle, one near the top. One in the front, one in the back. All around the tree I would do this. When I was finished, there were no similar ornaments any nearby. I didn't realize just how ingrained that had become until Lady Nottaguy-TYG mentioned it, since we normally trim the tree together.

Some of the weirdest things stick with us longer than we can imagine. A Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.

The Week Went "Whoosh" As Zoomed By.

I have to look at the calendar to believe that a whole week has gone by. I blinked, and it was gone. Last Friday, Lady Nottaguy-TYG and I had a date night. She had won tickets to the Gaither Homecoming concert in Columbus. We went out to eat, then headed to the concert. An accident had I-71 south at a crawl for several miles just inside Columbus. When we got the the concert venue, there was an unpleasant surprise. The seat were only a span wide (a span is the length from your elbow to the tip of your middle finger. I measured mine, 17") Those who know us know there is a bit more than 17" upon which we sit. After being uncomfortable for 2 1/2 hours, we decided to leave at intermission. Hint Schottenstein center: don't purchase your seats from elementary schools that are closing.

My work decided that since we have the 23rd off, we needed to make up for it. We had to be at work at 5 AM until 3PM from Monday-Wednesday. This coming week, since we have the 26th off, same thing only Tuesday-Friday. I'm wooped.

The boy had us laughing recently. We were discussing the sanctions handed down to OSU (don't even go there) and I mentioned that it wouldn't hurt recruiting since the oncoming Freshmen could become redshirts and still have four years eligibility. "The Boy" then said, "I didn't think it was good to be a redshirt. They always get killed off (reference to ""Star Trek") LOL.

I hope to be more active , but at least I'll make sure the "Flashback Friday" post keep coming.

Flashback Friday # 167

The Christmas Cookie

Greetings one & all. Welcome to another post about stuff that happened to me many moons ago.

As my title suggests, this post is about the wonderful tradition of giving cookies to someone at Christmas. However, this post isn't about the cookies we made. It is about a cookie that Dad got from one of our relatives.

Frequent readers of my blog know Aunt Shelly. She was as pious as one could get. There are times that she would make a Quaker feel worldly next to her. There were other times when her piety went right out the window. There a word for that, but we weren't allowed to say it in our house (at least in hearing distance of Mom). This story is about one of the "Bad Shelly" moments.

Mom always gave Aunt Shelly's family several dozen cookies (with 14 kids, a dozen just wouldn't do). Aunt Shelly decided to do a little baking of her own. She made a special cookie, just for Dad.

When they came over, she handed Dad a wrapped box and told him to unwrap it. It was a check box with one cookie in it. But this was no ordinary cookie. This was a Santa cookie. An anatomically correct Santa.

Dad thought it was hilarious. He kept that cookie for years, tucked inside the little box he came in. He would bring it out to show his friends who hadn't seen it before. It was a prized possession to him.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. Since we lived in the country, we always had problems with mice. Our house was nearly 100 years old, so it wasn't the snuggest. One winter a mouse decided to chew through the box to eat the contents. The mouse didn't eat all of it. Santa's head was gone. In more ways than one.

That's My Boy

Sunday night, One of the ladies at our church was telling everyone about a dessert social that will be held immediately after our Christmas cantata the following Sunday. She said that the desserts need to be something that can be held in your hand while folks mingle & greet. My grandson "The Boy" turned to Lady Nottaguy-TYG (aka Nana)and said "That settles it. Jell-o it is."

It's not nice to snort during the announcements at church, so I did my level best to stifle it. Lady Nottaguy-TYG said to me "I don't know who to smack, him or you". He's a chip off the ol' block.

Flashback Friday # 166

Addition By Subtraction

Greetings one & all. Welcome back to another post about the other world that I used to live in (the past). My recent run-in with the dentist brought this story to my remembrance. I am beginning to wonder if i have repeated myself on any of these stories, but I've not had anyone tell me that I have.

I have discussed the many health problems that Dad had. He had several mild heart attacks and quitting smoking had helped, but he still wasn't in real good health. Part of the reason for this was that he had terrible dental hygiene. No dental hygiene would be a better phrasing. Due to this, his teeth were poisoning his system. There was only one alternative.

Dad went in to have all of his teeth pulled. The doctor assured him that by removing his teeth, his health would dramatically get better. When he came home (Mom went with him to drive him home) he looked really wiped out. He didn't go to work for about a week (he had some vacation time saved up). His diet consisted on all soft foods. He lost a lot of weight until his gums toughened up enough to begin to eat semi-solid foods.

Once his gums toughened up, Mom approached him about getting dentures. He said he wasn't ready for them yet. Give him some more time for his gums to toughen a little more. He knew several people with dentures that had problems with them.

Months passed. A full year passed. He was eating almost everything that he had eaten before he had his teeth out. Mom asked again if he was ready to get dentures. Dad couldn't see why, since the only things he wasn't eating was nuts. He decided to forgo dentures. As the doctor had said, his health increased by leaps & bounds.

I didn't realize just how tough his gums had become. I was laying on the couch, with my feet on his lap. I was lazily wiggling my big toe. He reached out & grabbed it,playfully. I looked at him and asked "What are you going to do, bite me?" With that he opened his mouth wide and chomped down on my toe. YEOW!!! I jumped off the couch and hopped around the living room while he laughed his head off.

Funny Little Films

I spotted a couple of short films that were really funny and I thought I would share them with the few people who still stop by.

The Sock Monster

Everyone knows that a sock monster lurks in every washing machine and dryer. How else can you explain all the mismatched socks in your drawer. Thanks to a courageous young man (my grandson), the world can finally see what this monster looks like. He snapped a quick shot off with his camera phone before it had a chance to flee.

I don't have a clue why his little sister has his socks. I wouldn't go near a 10 year old boy's socks. He sent this picture to me and wanted me to send it to one of the Cheezburger sites as "The Sock Monster". I wonder where he comes up with ideas like that?

Flashback Friday # 165

Mom's Surgery

Hello again. It's good to see you again. Thanks for stopping by.

I've written by times about the tile factory that Mom worked at, and I worked at on the weekends. Mom had been there for many years. She had done every job there (in fact she was the 1st female forklift driver there). All the years in the dusty condition that was the tile factory took a toll on her.

She hadn't been feeling quite right for a while. She finally went to the doctor (nobody in my family likes to go to the doctor, we are generally forced).When he looked down her achy throat, he was puzzled at what he saw. Concerned too. He told Mom that he didn't like what he had seen and was referring her to a throat specialist. Going to a regular doctor was bad enough, she really didn't like the though of going to a specialist.

When the specialist examined her, he said that the many years of dust from the clay used to make the tile had irritated her throat, and she was currently at a pre-cancerous state. He said that if she didn't have surgery to remove part of her larynx, she could very easily go into full blown cancer. He wanted to schedule the surgery as soon as possible.

Mom felt she didn't have any other option, so she scheduled the surgery. After her surgery, she couldn't talk at all. She kept a notebook beside her as she lounged on the couch. Since this was work related, I assume she was off on Workman's Comp. Any time she wanted to ask or tell us something, she would wave her hands and then write down what she wanted.

While she was off, it was decided that we would take a road trip to go see Sir Gattabout down at Fort Bragg, North Carolina.Mom had gotten some of her voice back, but not much. While we were down there, we took Gattabout out to dinner at Sambo's. Mom decided to sing the Sambo's theme song while we were there. Out squeaked and squawked "It's just what the family ooordered, Sambo's". It sounded like a gangly young boy going through puberty.

Mom recovered, and went back to work. The company found her a job working in the office so she wouldn't be subject to the dust.

Whole Lot of Randomness Going On

Things have been a bit loopey around here. Here are a few slices of randomness that struck a chord with me:

When Urban Meyer was with Florida, I couldn't stand him or his team. Now that he is wearing scarlet & gray, I support him and will cheer for his team. Go Bucks.

The Girl was putting together a LARGE floor puzzle of Winnie the Pooh & friends the other day. When she finished, she stood up to see it from above. When she did that, Sparky came over and stood on it. She put her hands on her hips and hollered "Parky, get outta my puzzle". Funny.

We started overtime yesterday (6AM-3PM) and got a $25 gift certificate from management for Christmas today. Usually this means pending lay-offs. I hope it isn't so.

The Boy told us the other day that when he gets cold, he can chatter his teeth. Not a big deal you say. He says he can chatter them to "The theme for Star Wars". Too funny.

I went to the dentist today (I really hate going to the dentist). I have a tooth that has been bothering me for a while. I prayed that he wouldn't have to pull it (he didn't have to, thank you LORD) He took x-rays, examined it and couldn't figure out why it was hurting. His helper explained that perhaps my tooth had developed a sensitivity. She asked if I used whitening toothpaste (which I do & have for some time). It seems that whitening toothpaste tends to make teeth sensitive. She gave me some new toothpaste to try and some sensitive toothpaste to rub in the area before bed. She feels that this should do the trick. I hope so because a trip to the dentist is traumatizing for me.

The Buckeyes beat Duke last night in the Big Ten/ACC Challenge tournament. Th folks at ESPN said it was the highest rated game ever broadcast during this tournament since it's inception. When you have #2 going against #3, people want to watch.

Flashback Friday # 164

The Big PB&J Sandwich

Greetings, one & all. Thanks for taking a few moments out of this busy day to read my ramblings. Today, the subject is something, that anyone who knows me personally can attest, that is near & dear to me. Peanut butter & jelly sandwiches.

I have loved PB&J for as long as I can remember. Mom made the comment yesterday that she is amazed that I eat real food now. All I ever used to eat was PB&J sandwiches. No chili. No Spanish rice. No Sweet potato casserole, etc.

Every body can make a PB&J out of two slices of bread. Some only use one. I routinely used three. It was sort of a PB&J club sandwich of sorts. Once the two sliced sandwich is made, you put a coat of peanut butter on the top slice of bread, then jelly another slice. Viola, club sandwich. Dad even made a few of these for me.

You may think, what's the big deal about a sandwich with three slices of bread? That's not a big sandwich. Those triple deckers have nothing to do with the story today. The big PB&J sandwich had eight (count 'em eight) slices of bread. It was a feat of modern engineering.

It's hard enough to make the three slice sandwich since the peanut butter tends to make the jelly slice under it slide. Imagine doing it five more times. Just for fun, take a loaf of bread, and count how high that sandwich would be. Then try to imagine PB&J between each slice. Wowsa.

You may think, "Sure, you can build a monstrosity like that, but how could anyone eat it?" I was a teen-age boy at the time. There is a reason they have the reputation of being eating machines. Eat it I did, all by my self. Sure, it was messy, but it sure was good.

I haven't done anything like this since I've been married. When you're a kid, you don't ponder the grocery bill. Now that the grocery bill is mine, I have a totally different outlook.

Check

I received a text from my wife while at work. She had "The Boy" & "The Girl" (they had spent the night) all day. She stated that "The Boy" couldn't wait for me to come home because he wanted to play a game of chess with me.

I have several chess sets, including one with carved marble pieces. "The Boy" got a set of chess pieces from my mom a couple of weeks ago. He has played himself several times. He loves my marble set. It was set up when I got home.

It has been a loooong time since I played. It showed The second piece of mine that he took was my Queen. That in it's self is bad. The fact that he took it with a pawn, was even worse.

I must admit, he had me sweating for most of the game. For a 10 yr. old, he played a pretty good game. When he made a mistake near the end of the game, I got back into the game by removing his Queen from the board. I think this rattled him because it wasn't much later that he found himself in checkmate. I congratulated him on a game well played. I've got a feeling that it won't be long before he's going to beat me.

It Must Be Monday.

Mondays are not nice. I think Mondays think of ways to be mean to you. I found out just how true that was today (Which by the way is Monday). As I was leaving for work, I opened the door to my truck and discovered something bad. I had forgotten to roll up my window from Saturday.

I was hot & sweaty from shovelling mulch so I rolled my window down on the way home. I backed the truck in the driveway to make it easier to unload the mulch. With the truck backed in, the driver's window faced away from the house. Saturday night, it began to rain. It rained all day Sunday. My seat was soaked. Fortunately, I had an extra jacket in the truck that I could sit on to avoid looking like I peed my pants.

When I got to work, I sent a text to my wife to tell her what I had done. She asked if I wanted her to bring me some dry pants. I told her that I wasn't too bad. It was really nice of her to be willing to drive out to my work to bring me dry clothes, especially since she had just woke up 20 minutes before.

Flashback Friday # 163

Sheep

A warm welcome to those who have stumbled upon my ramblings.

Anyone who has read these posts for some time, knows that my paternal grandmother lived in Westerville, OH. She didn't live right in it, but on the outskirts. This meant that there were some things nearby that you wouldn't find in many cities. Sheep.

Her across the street neighbor, Mr. Belvedere, owned the property beside her. On the large section in front was a plot that he rented to grandma to put in a garden. I can remember watching her push a hand plow to break up the soil. As long as she was able, she always put in a large garden, and canned the harvest thereof.

On the large section of this land stood a small enclosure that housed a couple dozen sheep. Mr. Belvedre would shear the sheep and sell the wool. He always talked very low, whether it was to people or sheep. Those sheep knew his voice.

One day, I was outside dumping the table scraps into the compost pile. There were a few things that didn't want to come out of the pan, so I banged it on the nearby swing set. Suddenly the whole flock of sheep came running toward the shelter. I thought that was really bizarre.

The next day, I took a stick and hit the swing set a couple of times. The sheep came running. After a bit, they went back into the field. I banged on the swing set. The sheep came running. That was really cool.

I guess Mr. Belvedere saw what I had done and called Grandma. She told me not to tease the sheep. I couldn't figure out how I was teasing the sheep. I didn't ask about it, I just said OK.

Later that day, I was outside and I heard what sounded like someone banging a couple of pans together. I looked over toward the noise to see Mr. Belvedere walking to the sheep enclosure and all the sheep running toward him. When he banged the pans together, the sheep knew it was time to eat. That's why they ran to the enclosure when I banged on the swing set.

A few days later, Grandma's tiny, little dog, Jock, was into the sheep pasture eating sheep poop. I stood at the fence and hollered for him. Then I heard my name being called. Grandma wanted to know what I was doing at the fence. I told her that I was trying to keep Jock from eating sheep poop. She thought I was teasing the sheep again. She was planning to scold me for that.

One day, Ricky (one of the kids that helped to dig the cave), convinced me to sneak into the pasture and chase the sheep. It was great fun until Mr. Belvedere saw us and started hollering at us. We hightailed it to the back of the pasture and cut through the woods to the back of Ricky's house. I got in some big trouble for that and had to apologize to Mr. Belvedere and promise to leave his sheep alone.

Many years after Mr. Belvedere passed, his wife sold their house to the neighboring Catholic church/school. She had a house built where the sheepfold once stood. She lived there until she also passed.

Five FPs in a week

You may ask "What in the world is an FP?" It is when a funny picture that you submitted makes the "Front Page" of one of the Cheezburger sites. I hadn't had one in a while, so they caught me off guard. The first on hit on the 9th. It was on "Historic LOLs", a site in which you caption pictures of days gone by. This is the picture:


The next came on 12th on "I Has A Hotdog", a site in which you caption pictures of dogs. Here is that picture:


That picture, by the way, was the 50th FP that I have created.
The next FP came the following day on "Derp", which is a site that captions people & animals making strange faces. Here is that pic:


My 4th FP came yesterday on "I Can Has Cheezburger", a site that captions pictures of cats. I've had great response to this one:



This is where the post was going to stop until I checked my site to get the pictures and found out that this picture made FP tonight on ROFL RAZZI a site that lets you caption celebrity pictures. Something tells me that it's not going to be a big hit among "Twilight" fans. Here it is:



*************UPDATE**********

The morning after I published this post, a sixth FP of the week showed up on Historic LOLs. Six in one week. Wow. Here is the other FP pic:

Signs

I LOVE funny signs. I spotted a couple recently. The first one was created by my grandson, "The Boy". I found it when I came home from work Friday. He taped it to the bathroom door.


I spotted this one today a a large steakhouse chain which specializes in buffet dining. They hadn't taken down ALL the signs from breakfast. They missed this one. After I took the picture, someone realized they missed it and took it down.
I don't see anything in this picture that I would want to put butter & syrup on.

Flashback Friday # 162

The Happy Meal

Hello, I'm glad that you stopped back in for another helping of yesteryear. Pull up a chair and get comfortable.

When I was younger, McDonald's was an inexpensive place to take your kids to eat. I can remember when you could get a hamburger, regular fries, and a regular soft drink for less than a dollar (99 cents to be exact). In the early 70's they had a venerable plethora of characters who lived in McDonaldland. There was Mayor McCheese, Big Mac (the cop), Captain Crook (the pirate), The Professor (who invented gadgets to create the food items), Hamburgular, Grimace, and of course, Ronald McDonald himself.

In the mid 70's, due to a lawsuit by Sid & Marty Krofft (makers of H.R. Puffenstuff and other Saturday morning offerings) the majority of those characters went by the wayside. If you didn't have cartoon characters to interest kids, what else could you do?

In 1979 (my Freshman year) McDonald's introduced "The Happy Meal". It involved a hamburger or cheeseburger (chicken nuggets hadn't been invented yet), regular fries, a packet of McDonaldland cookies & a regular soft drink (when I worked for McDonald's we were told NEVER to call them "small" because McDonald's doesn't have a small anything). This was packaged in a colorful box with games and activities printed on it. It was a monster smash, dynamite hit. The Star Trek Movie that came out later that year was the first movie-themed Happy Meal.

Some people think McDonalds invented the idea of giving toys away in their children's meals. I remember being about 10 or so and getting a kid's meal at BBF (Borden Burger Foods). One of their kid's meals was called "Drum & Fife" and it consisted of a chicken drumstick, french fries, a soft drink and a toy. I remember getting a cowboy figure. I also remember getting something at Burger Chef, but I don't remember what it was.

What has been your favorite meal associated prize?

Now You See Them, Now You Don't

Yesterday, since I didn't go to work because of a worker's comp hearing, I was here when the sucker truck came by. It is amazing how fast your leaves disappear. Here is the before picture:

And here is the after picture:
All this was done in less 10 minutes. It took me that long to get the rakes, leaf blower, and extension cord out.

Flashback Friday # 161

CB Radios

Hello, It's nice to see you again (even if I really can't because you are looking at you computer screen and I am probably doing something else while you are reading this). Are you ready to look back at people you don't know and places that you've never been? Good. Let's get started.

One of the big fads of the late 70's-early 80's was CB radios. In reality it really wasn't a fad because it was actually useful, unlike pet rocks, mood rings and streaking. A CB radio was your "cell phone" when travelling. You could converse with those who just came from where you were going to check weather, traffic and the location of Highway Patrol vehicles.

Dad jumped into this with both feet. He had a CB in all of our vehicles. Dad's friend who had bought our pool table told Dad about a CB Radio club that he had joined. I need to mention that this friend was a truck driver. Dad had to join too. He also got Mom to sign up. Other than meeting and eating the main thing this club did was to man what was called a "coffee break". You've probably seen the trailers at freeway rest stops that offer coffee, lemonade and snacks to truck drivers. That's what a "coffee break" was. If a driver was getting tired, he could pull in and get a cup of coffee & some conversation.

I mentioned previously that CBs were the cell phones of their day. One of the big differences was you had to have a license to operate a CB. Each license came with call letters. Dad's call letters were KBE-3628. It's funny, I can remember this, but I have to ask my wife what her phone number is (it's speed dial #2 on my phone).

Everyone also had a "handle", or nickname to be known by. Dad's was "Short Stick" (I am not making this up). Mom's was "Brown Eyes". They even had CB club jackets with these names monogrammed on them.It was common for someone to have the same handle that you had. Generally, if someone asked if I was So & So from Whatever City I would come up with a new handle.Now I am known as Sir Nottaguy-Imadad. Back the I was PB Kid. PB Kid was the one I had longest. I've never met another Sir Nottaguy-Imadad.

My Cheezpeeps

I got some nice gift LOLs from my cheezpeeps over at the Cheezburger Network.

One Man's Trash Is Another Man's Treasure

Thursday night as we were coming home, we spotted something sitting out waiting to be hauled away in the trash. I got into my truck and drove drown the street. I tossed it and it's companion into the bed of my truck. What may this item be?

Yes, It was a rocking horse. It was manufactured by Today's Kids (who are no longer in business). It needs some replacement parts, but they have already been purchased online (Radio Flyer makes a similar horse that has compatible parts).

"The Girl" has had a great time with it.

It even became a tent when "the horsie got tired". We knew she was tired when she said "My get up is gone". LOL

The other item that I picked up with it was a Little Tykes car. That is outside, and will stay out there. When you've got grand kids, you just can't pass a deal like that up. Who doesn't like free?

Flashback Friday # 160

Memories of Halloweens Past


Welcome one & all. I'm so glad you could stop by long enough to hop back into the past with me. Sorry my regular "Flashback Friday" picture is missing. Blogger was having issues when I wrote this.

When I look at Halloween today, I see an over commercialized holiday where the grown ups like to play dress up more than the kids do. It has become a multi-billion dollar industry. It wasn't like that so much when I was a kid. Here are some of the things I remember.

There was nothing like getting a home-made popcorn ball when you were trick-or-treating. Mom made some of the best I've ever tasted. She would also color them various colors to enhance their appearance. These were made with popcorn, Karo syrup, food coloring and some magic ingredients. They were formed by hand and wrapped in plastic wrap. Nothing pre-packaged about them.

Apples also found their way into many-a-bag. They weren't pre-packaged either. I remember being about six when I first heard stories about sickos putting needles & razor blades in apples. We always had to examine then closely before we ate them.

Loose candy and cookies were staples for a couple of our neighbors. One lady bought bags of gumballs and dumped them into a bowl. You were then allowed to reach in and grab a handful. Orange slices & spearmint leaves also were given out. Everyone liked getting chocolate chip & peanut butter cookies. None of it individually wrapped.

The costumes were much simpler too. Most of the time you could find the makings of a hobo costume from the stuff in the rag bag. Not many mothers liked you cutting holes in their sheets, so you would pin them around your neck and cover your face & hair with powder. The scariest costumes back then were witches & devils. I never had too many store bought costumes. They were different back then too. A Batman of Bozo costume consisted of a hard plastic mask that looked like the character, but the outfit that went with it had a picture of the character, not a likeness of the character's outfit like they have today.

If you didn't get a treat, the trick you played was soaping people's windows. Once my brother snagged a bar of soap to take with him, without looking at which bar he grabbed. When he was going to use it, he discovered that he had grabbed Dad's bar of "Lava". It went right back into his pocket, and he sneaked it back into the bathroom without it being missed. You just didn't mess with Dad's soap. The really nasty kids didn't use soap, they used wax or paraffin.

I miss the old days. Nowadays, I can't wait for Halloween to be over. The emphasis on the ghoulish side of it makes my skin crawl. It defiantly has lost it's innocence.

Autumn Has Fallen Upon Us.

Here in Ohio, It is an annual tradition that the leaves fall from the trees. With the large amount of rain that we have had lately, they have come down even faster.

Since Monday was relatively nice, I took "The Ogre's" kids outside to help me get the leaves piled up.

"The Boy" was thrilled that I let him learn how to use the leaf blower. Usually he winds up with a rake. I felt a little like Tom Sawyer while watching him move the piles of leaves.

"The Girl" helped out too. She would take handfuls of leaves and pile them on the sidewalk for her brother to scoot toward the road.

She had a real good pile going until her brother came by with the leaf blower.




Where did they go?


She had to begin another pile. This time her brother didn't wait until her back was turned to take her leaves. The leaf blower startled her and she turned to run from it,only to run into the shepherd's hook directly behind her.



She also "helped" by pulling all my extention cord out of the crate that houses it. What a tangled mess it became. I will have to stretch it around the house to untangle it.

By the time supper was ready, we had cleared out the front yard and part of the driveway. Don't even ask about the back yard. I know there's grass back there somewhere, but right now, I can't see it.

Don't I Wish

Finally, A car that I can afford. I wonder what the payment options are?

Strange Packaging

My wife bought a new package of socks (actually they are footies) today. The bag that they came in was resealable (like a ziploc baggie). Why is this? Does it keep the socks fresher? If you don't use all the socks at one time, can you keep the other fresh by putting them back in the bag? Does the bag keep moisture out (even worse, keep moisture in)?

Flashback Friday # 159

The Day I Was A Professional Boxer

Greetings to one & all (yes, I'm talking to both of you). This is a very exciting post for me. It just happens to be the 500th post of this blog. Did you think I would hang in there this long? Like a bad penny, you just can't get rid of me.

Anyway, There was a time in my life when I was a professional boxer. It only lasted for one day, because I wasn't very good at it. The other guys who I was boxing with,beat me soundly.

What was nice about this is that I left the building unscathed. How can that be?

The tile company that Mom worked for (see here & here) had a very large order for a Prince in Abu Duabi (the capital city of The United Arab Emirates). They were working three shifts to produce the tile that would go into his palace. Once the tile was finished, how was it shipped? That's right, you had to box it first. On this day, I was going to box tile. Since I was getting paid for it, that made me a professional boxer.

Back then, I made $3 an hour when I worked for Mom's company. As a boxer, you got 50 cents per box completed. A good boxer could do 10 boxes per hour (that's $5 an hour for those who have shaky math skills). The other two boxers were good boxers and routinely did 10 per hour. I wasn't that good. I had a fall back plan in place. I couldn't make less than $3 an hour even if I didn't do six boxes an hour.

When you boxed tile, you had to stand up a piece of tile, then put in a cardboard divider. A piece of tile, a piece of cardboard. You had to wear gloves. Since the tile was hand made, there were imperfections that could leave a sliver or a sharp edge. The imperfections were part of the charm. It proved that it wasn't mass produced, but genuinely hand made. During the process, some of the tile actually had a thumbprint that mashed a corner. People loved this.

Anyway, getting back to my narrative. I really stank at boxing tile. I could never get more than six per hour. I had hoped that I could pick up a few extra bucks by being fast. I would have made the same amount sweeping the floor or putting up shelves. From then on, I left the boxing to the real professionals.

Duct Tape Really Does Fix Everything.

Tonight, when I went to the nursing home to pick up my MIL's laundry, we were talking about fixing something. She said she had some duct tape that we could use to fix it with. I looked at her and asked why she would need duct tape in the nursing home. "Oh, I can fix lots of things with it" she said She then jumped subjects(which I'm prone to do, also)and said "I've recently had a diarrhea..." I looked at her aghast and asked "You didn't use duct tape to fix that, did you?" She looked at me odd,then said "Heavens no."

I thought for a moment that she had come up with a medical breakthrough.

Funny Radio Story

I heard a story on the radio recently that cracked me up. It seems there were some guys who were drinking and decided to play a game. Any time Al K. Hall is invited to a party, you can expect something stupid to happen.

The game involved seeing what could fit over your head. One guy decided to try a plastic toilet seat. Since his head made it through, he decided to see how far down he could take it over the rest of his body. The toilet seat got stuck around his middle. Try as they might, that toilet seat wasn't going to come off. They decided to call the fire department for help. They were told to come down to the station and the firemen would see what they could do.

They eventually got the seat off. The man's name was withheld for privacy sake (his friend knew who he was, that was bad enough). The Fire Chief made the statement (and I'm not making this up0 "The man was a bit flushed when he got here. He was relieved that we could get the toilet seat off".

Am I the only one who finds the Fire Chief's statement an absolute hoot? Anyone with the wit to put "flushed & "relieved" in a statement like that is OK in my book. That's thinking fast.

Flashback Friday # 158

We Salute You. Nanu Nanu.

Hello again. Once again we stroll down the garden path to what once was.

When I was a freshman in High School, a TV show came on that quickly became a favorite in our house. If you haven't guess by the title, it was Mork & Mindy starring Robin Williams & Pam Dawber. It was about an alien (Williams) who comes to Earth to observe humans. He is discovered by Mindy (Dawber) who realizes he is an alien and tries her best to hide him. I remember well watching the first episode with Mom. The zaniness was so intense I thought Mom would wet herself from laughing so much.

You notice that I said I watched the first episode with Mom. Why didn't Dad watch it? He wasn't quite the slave to the TV as we were. He was over at his best friend's house (that would be Chuck),helping him with a remodeling project.

When Dad got home, the episode was over and we were still trying to catch our breath. When Dad walked in, Mom looked at me and smiled really big. I knew exactly what she was thinking. Dad shut the door, turned around and was greeted by his wife & son in a most peculiar way. We both stood, looked at Dad, and said in unison "We salute you. Nanu Nanu. " while wiggling our ears with our hands.

Dad stopped in his tracks. He had the most puzzled look on his face. He must have thought we were nuts. He said "What was that all about?" Mom & I laughed and told him about the show we had just watched. I'm not sure he really believed what we had told him about the show.

The following week, he made sure he was home to see if this new show or his family was crazy. I'm not sure he caught all the sight & verbal gags that Mork tossed out to his audience, but he thought it was funny anyway. It became a staple in our TV viewing routine.

I have season one on DVD (I got it free from a Pepsi promotion a couple years ago). I have a feeling that watching "The Boy's" reaction to this show will be just as funny as the show itself.

You can see the opening credits here.

Usually Kids Are Good Judges Of Character

Today, I was upstairs in the office getting something for a co-worker. I happened to be over by the receptionist when one of the 2nd shift employees came in to pick up his paycheck. He had his little girl with him. She looked to be about two.

The receptionist said "Hi" to her. The Little girl just looked bewildered. When she saw me she smiled, waved and said "Hi. Hi." I smiled back and said "Hi". The receptionist asked why the girl didn't say Hi to her. I told her that she looked mean. Just as I was going to say "Kids can tell if someone is nice", one of the upper management walked by. The little girl saw him and said "Hi".

So much for that idea.

LOL # 1000

I was checking out some stuff on my Cheezburger profile when I notice something. I have made over 1000 LOLs on the site. I counted backwards and discovered that this one was #1000.

I also was invited to be a part of a beta test that Cheezburger is doing by creating a site out of stuff that I had saved. You can check out my site here. If you need a laugh, it's the place to go.

Flashback Friday # 157

You can't run from the authorities

Greeting to all and welcome back to those who have ventured here before. In recent posts I've told how my Freshman year of High School was tough. It wasn't as tough for me as it was for one of my friends.

I first met "Ronald" in 7th grade. He didn't like to go by Ron, it was Ronald. We has similar interests. We disliked the same people. We even bore a bit of resemblance to each other (we both were "fat boys"). We got along well in Jr. High, but during the summer between 8th & 9th grade, something about him changed.

Seeing that I missed the first seven days of school, I lost touch with him since he wasn't in any of my classes. When I would see him in the hall, and say "Hi", he wouldn't acknowledge me. It was strange. I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong.

One day, during one of my classes, a classmate came back from the restroom with some huge news. As she was walking down the hall, she saw Ronald run past the intersecting hall. Right behind him was Principal Tenpins and a county Sheriff's Deputy. As she got to the intersection, the Deputy tackled Ronald, cuffed hm & lead him away. My classmate hurried to the restroom so nobody could see that she had seen what happened since the Principal & the Deputy were leading Ronald out to the cruiser.

We learned later that Ronald had been under surveillance, and had, in his possession when arrested, 17 marijuana cigarettes. From what we heard, he was planning to sell them at school. That was the last day that Ronald attended my school.I don't know if he wound up in juvenile detention or if his folks bailed him out, lawyered up and had a go at it. I've never seen him since 9th grade.

I don't know what he got into that summer or who he was hanging with. Whatever it was, it was bad news.

Fun Times With 'The Girl"

Last Thursday, "The Boy" had his first band lesson as part of 5th grade band. Lady Nottaguy-TYG (aka Nana) accompanied him to practice in the High School (with Lady Lemon & The Ogre's 5th grade/Middle School band director). I got to keep an eye on "The Girl" outside.


When you're 2 1/2, the world is a mighty big place and there's still lots to learn. We started off walking along the parking lot. She noticed some dandelions in the grass and had to pick them. We then went on a concerted hunt for more.

I sent this picture to her Momma (aka "The Ogre") and her Momma sent back the text "Momma had a baby and it's head popped off". I had to show her how that was done. She laughed and said "Agin". So I did it again and again. I taught her the song:

Since we had popped all the yellow dandelions we found, she found some white fuzzy ones and blew the seeds into the air. She also waved them around to send the seeds flying. During this time, she learned a valuable lesson, Don't blow dandelions against the wind. She had some of the seeds fly back into her mouth and she was most displeased. "Uck, she says.

We then wandered around and came to a section of chain link fence. She had the best time passing leaves and sticks through the fence to me. Not far from there was a puddle that we took turns tossing stick & rocks in. While doing this, she found a rock that became "her baby" and she cradled it as we walked back toward the school. While we were waiting for "The Boy" & Nana to come out, she made blankies for her baby out of leaves while I sat nearby on a bench.

Just as we all were heading to the car, it began it rain. I'm glad I had a chance to have some outside time with her before the rains set in.

I knew what it was and my wife knew what it was...

Tonight, "The Boy" was creating a new type of animal that is amphibious and can also live in extreme desert climates. In the car, he was asking our help to come up with a name for it. In order to properly name it, we had to know a little more about it. This conversation ensued:

The Boy: It's about the size of a rhinoceros.

Me: Well, that shoots down the idea of arid skimmer. Rhinos don't skim anything.

Wife: The way you were describing it, i didn't think it was that big.

The Boy: Well, it perhaps isn't that big. It could be smaller.

Me: Is it bigger than a bread box?

The Boy: Yes, At least the body without the legs...Wait, What's a bread box? I've never seen bread come in a box before, only bags.

With that, my wife explains what a bread box is while I try to keep the car on the road while snuffling guffaws.

Flashback Friday # 156

The Early Show

Greetings one & all. As I type this, I can hear the rain falling outside. What can you do when it's raining. We watched TV. A lot. One of the shows that was on most days was The Early Show hosted by Flippo the Clown.

Most channels had The Late Show, which ran old movies. The Early Show did the same thing, only it was intended for those who didn't stay up until late o'clock.We loved old movies in our house.

Flippo started doing The Early Show in 1953. I don't remember him back then (probably since I was born in 1963). All throughout my school years, Flippo was there to greet me when I came home from school. I would usually get home about 3:45 and he came on at 4:00. You never had to worry whether the movie would be "questionable". Everybody could watch without a problem.

He was given free reign to be as silly as he pleased during his "comedic interludes" and during his sales pitches. It's been over 30 years, but I still came remember his adds for Whistle Stop Pop Shop, Dan Durthdaler's Lowrey Genie Organ dealership, Frostie Rootbeer and Winnebago (I always thought he was talking about "win a bago"). My favorite comedy routine deals with him opening the refrigerator and having it make snide remarks about his weight.

On the days when he was on vacation, Fritz the Night Owl would fill in for him. He retired in 1983, a year after I graduated from High School. He donated his costume to the Ohio Historical Society after his retirement. We saw it on a trip we took there and took a picture of it.

You can find more information about Flippo at his biography page.

Nobody In Either City Knew the Heimlich Maneuver

Going into September, the Atlanta Braves and the Boston Red Sox held commanding leads in the wild card race in each division of MLB. Throughout the month of September, they were absolutely putrid. Last night, both teams choked to death.

Going into last night's game, both teams were tied in the wild card race. The Braves were up by 8 1/2 games on the Cardinals on September 6. The Red Sox lead the Rays by 9 on September 3. They both needed a win. Both lost.

The Red Sox were 76-0 after leading in the 8th inning this year. Their closer not only blew the save, but lost the game. The Rays were down 7-0 in the 5th, tie the score in the 9th, and win it it in 12th with a home run.

The Cardinals soundly thumped the Astros while The Braves were leading the Phillies in the 9th. A Braves win forces a one game play-off. The Phillies made a comeback and beat the Braves in 13 innings.

Epic historic choking.

He REALLY Doesn't Like It.

Sparky, the wonder dragon & protector of the realm, really has a dislike for remote controlled cars. We think it had something to do with his past, before we got him. When Ninja John lived here, and would drive his RC car around, Sparky would pick it up with his teeth & flip it over. Mine is too big for him to do that. He just barks like crazy at it.

Flashback Friday # 155

That didn't come out quite right.

Welcome to all who have ventured this way on the cyberpath. If you've accidentally stumbled upon these ramblings, I'll try not to rot your mind too much. If you came here on purpose, you get what's coming to you.

Have you ever tried to express an idea, and by the time it has gotten tangled around your eye teeth, It has become something completely different? The very first time that I spoke in Student Council was just such a time.

Being a Freshman, meant that you were to be seen & not heard. Nobody cared what you thought or how you felt about something. If you didn't like something, too bad. I think you're beginning to get the picture.

One of the things that several of the Seniors wished to get changed was the part of our dress code that banned facial hair. No mustaches, beards or long sideburns were allowed. Facial hair was considered a distraction. If you drew a line from the corner of your mouth to your ear, your sideburns had to stay on the north side of that line. No hair was to be past the shirt collar either. Our school was established in the 60's so I assume the dress code attempted to get the hippies to conform.

But I digress. Since several of the Seniors wanted this rule changed, the created a petition for student body members to sign. They acquired several hundred signatures. It was brought up in the Student Council meting and a delegation was to be selected to approach the Principal with the petition & dress code changes.

The Student council advisor was an older teacher who taught journalism, typing & IOE (Inner Office Experience). The Student Council meetings were held in her IOE room. It looked similar to an old typing pool that you would see on TV in the 70's. She asked several of the Seniors why they wished to change the rule. Some said it was outdated, while others said it hindered their expression of who they were. She then asked ME what I thought of the issue. This caught me completely flatfooted. (Read the third paragraph again).

I tried to express something to the effect that if you looked mature, you might act mature. What came out was some kind of mishmash about your girlfriend dumping you for a guy who looked older. The Seniors roared and I was put on the committee to approach the Principal. This was the same Principal who didn't like me because of my brother.

The committee approached the Principal. He was given the petition. The Seniors gave their arguments. I was prompted to repeat the mishmash. The Principal basically said, in the nicest manner possible, FUGITUBOWTIT, AINTHAPPIN.

When I became a Senior, this issue came up again, but in a little bit of a different way. That's another post all together.

The Family That's Weird Together

Everyone has some weird idiosyncrasies. Don't read this and say "I never do anything weird" because deep down, you know you do.


One of the weird things that is done around here is the tussle about who gets the little curlicue at the top of a new tub of margarine. A big production is made about it. I tease the Ogre all the time when I get it.


She sent me this picture the other day.


The message that accompanied it said "Oh I'll do it too!" It's fun being weird, especially when you know that it is being passed on.

Who would have thought?

It looked like everyone in the NFC East was firmly set at quarterback except for one team. The Eagles had just signed Michael Vick to a HUGE contract. Tony Romo is a rising star & fan favorite in Dallas. Eli Manning signed a long term, large contract after his Super Bowl win. Only the Washington Redskins, with has-been Rex Grossman and never-been John Beck, were shaky at the quarterback position. Oh, how quickly things change.

Sunday, Vick received a concussion and Romo received fractured ribs & a punctured lung. On Monday Manning as booed in his home stadium on just the ninth play. In Washington, the redskins are 2-0 and at the top of the standings.

Flashback Friday # 154

Venting

Welcome back to more minutia from the archives of my brain.

How do you let off steam? Are you a screamer? A thrower? Crawl into your shell? Assault people? When I was a young teen, I was quite the passive aggressive individual (still am, for the most part). I came up with a way to release aggression toward everyone I did liked without anyone knowing about it (almost).

My cousin Skeeter (one of Aunt Shelly's kids) and I were playing around with my cassette recorder one day. We had been discussing our mutual enemies at school. He grabbed the microphone and hollered out "(enemy's name here) eats piles of (use your imagination)." That started the ball rolling. Every slimebag we knew got pasted on that tape.

There were three things that were really nice about this. 1.Since we were up in my room, we had the privacy to include as many folks as we wanted. 2. My parents weren't there. Since Skeeter's vocabulary in public & private was saltier than mine. 3. Dad's friend Chuck had come over and was mowing our grass, further insulating our ventings from prying ears.

After we finished venting, we came up with several skits that we recorded. Some were from comedy records that I had (Cheech & Chong, Bill Cosby, Shel Silverstein) and some were just made up. We recorded these on battery power. By the time we got to the end of the tape, the batteries were pretty worn out. Playing it back using the power cord just made it all that much funnier because it sped everything up and made us sound like chipmunks. We titled the tape "The Nutsos".

Every time Skeeter was over after that, I have to get the tape out and play it.

Romance Advice

Here is a video clip that had us laughing last night. I hope you like it as much as we did.

Never Forget

Unless you were in a coma or living under a rock, you know exactly where you were 10 years ago today.

Flashback Friday # 153

Smashmouth Football

Greetings one & all. Welcome back to the meanderings of my mind, where many times we stray from the beaten path.

One of the things that I really disliked about school was Phys Ed class (more about that later). Since it was Autumn, what do you play in gym class? Football, of course. Since the classes were co-ed, this was one time where the guys were separated from the girls, that way they wouldn't get hurt.

Out in the field beside the school, the guys went to one end, while the girls went to the other. Teams were chosen and we were to commence playing flag football. How does one consider that smashmouth football, you may ask? I will explain that soon enough.

Another reason that the girls weren't playing along side the guys was that the guys were playing shirts vs skins. I hated shirts vs skins. The colored flags didn't differentiate the teams enough (what was strange is that it was differential enough for the girls).I was fortunate that the other team had more "fat boys" on it, therefore it had to be skins.

Our class was big enough that each team had 10 guys on it. Each side could very nearly field an entire offense or defensive unit. On offense, I was a running back, on defense, a linebacker. During kickoffs I was a kamikaze forward to block or tackle as needed.

During one of the kickoffs, our kicker boomed a huge kick. It was a beauty. A thing to behold. It isn't a good idea to watch a kick sailing through the air while running down the field as fast as you can. In the moment that I took my eyes off the field to follow the flight of the ball, disaster struck. One of the guys on the other team also took a gander at the beautiful kick, and stopped to see who would field it. The very moment that he stopped is the very moment the I looked up at the kick.

WHAM! I ran into his back at full speed. I didn't even see him when I hit him. All I saw were stars. The collision sent both of us sprawling. Other than being shaken up from having a tank steamroll into him, he was OK. I, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. My mouth was smashed into the back of his head (see I told you that I would explain the title). My lips were pulverized and blood flowed fast & furious.

Since my parents worked in Westerville & weren't able to come to my aid, we had arranged with a neighbor, who just happened to be a nurse, to be my emergency pick-up if had to leave school due to sickness or injury. When she got there, the school nurse had stopped most of the blood flow with cold compresses. She took a look at what used to be my lips and determined that stitches wouldn't be necessary, but it would be a good idea if I went home & took it easy the rest of the day. I would find out later that it wouldn't be the only time that I got hurt in High School gym class.

The Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody

As a huge fan of the Muppets, I find this video hilarious.

Posting Has Been Light This Week

I haven't had much time to post this week. After I got home from my eight hour job, I got cleaned up and went to the church to drive the van down to The Millersport Sweetcorn Festival. Some folks can spend the four days down at our church campgrounds to work the festival. Many have to work, then drive down to work some more. We've been doing this for over 20 years. It's a great fundraiser.

Here is something that most people who have never seen, find quite fainting. The machine that we use to husk the corn is an antique and must have all replacement parts custom made for it. Corn is placed on a conveyor belt at the top,

and comes out at the bottom.

As long as the corn isn't loaded too quickly, the husker does an excellent job. Unfortunately, most times we have it cranked out to max and have to take some of the husks off by hand. It sure beats husking it all by hand. One year, the husker broke down. For two days, we husked all the corn by hand. I hope to never do that again.

Flashback Friday # 152

The Ultimatum

Greeting to one & all. Welcome back.

In several previous posts I have mentioned the many trips to Westerville. My Grandparents lived there and both of my parents worked there. At least for now.

Dad worked at a lumberyard. He had worked there for many years. The problem with that is he didn't make a whole lot there. He generally spent more than what he made. Mom wasn't real happy. Something had to change.

One day, after a payday, she looked at the amount of his check and told him that he was going to have to find a new job. Dad didn't want to. He liked working at the lumberyard. Mom put her foot down. Either he left his job or she was leaving him. She said that with his skills, he could be making significantly more than he was making. She said his bosses knew they were taking advantage of him. A shipment of panels was worth more than a couple of his weekly paychecks.

Reluctantly, Dad turned in his two week notice. He found a job working as a sub-contractor building new homes in Westerville. There will be future posts about his employment there because he hired me as a sub-sub-contractor. The lumberyard closed within a year of Dad quitting. Coincidence?

2011 Church League Fantasy Draft

Friday night, the guys at church got together to hold the 4th annual Punt, Pass & Praise Fantasy Football draft. For the second year in a row, everyone was present. If some one isn't present, their players are picked proxy, and some one winds up with players they don't want.

During the draft, there were some funny things said:

(Upon seeing that Cleveland wasn't among the top 15 team defenses that were listed on our draft sheet) "I noticed that the Browns defense is conspicuously missing from the list" "I noticed that it is conspicuously missing from the field. Bwhaaa."

"We will finish the draft tomorrow after _____ makes his pick."

"In the time it took you to make that pick, that league over there conducted it's entire draft"

"I don't think those who brought their laptops are really researching player information. They're probably surfing porn between picks."

"(Player's name) is off the board." "Was he really even on it. Hahaha."

"Dude, you've drafted three quarterbacks. Are you rooting for an injury?"

We had a fun time. We went to Frozen Rock Ice Cream afterward. I am way too spoiled by our local ice cream shop. The portions are MUCH bigger for half the price.

Flashback Friday # 151

The Cave

Welcome back all. Glad to see you again. Where I lived, there were no caves around (except ones that had already become tourist attractions). We decided on day to create our own.

How does one create a cave? If you have excavating equipment, it's easy. Being young teens, we didn't have anything like that, but we had Mother Nature give us a hand.

During one of my many trips to Westerville, One of my friends there, Ricky, spotted a tree near the edge of a hill at the very back of the property owned by the Catholic school that was just up the street from Grandma's. Where we were heading wasn't up the street, it was almost directly across from Grandma's house, about 3/4 of a mile away.

The Catholic school was planning to do some expansion, so they had begun to excavate the area we were heading for. The excavation, plus erosion had laid bare about 1/3 of the tree roots from the tree at the top of the hill. The dirt beneath the tree was soft, so we were able to scoop out a section about four feet deep and big enough to fit me, Ricky, and Ricky's sister in. We also took some rather large rocks up with us so if anyone tried to invade our hideout, we could roll the rocks down on them. It was really a cool cave.

Being young & foolish, we didn't think about the danger we were putting ourselves in. Here we were sitting under a tree that has been undermined. It's root system was the only thing holding it up. We played back there for several hours before we had to head for home.

The next time I was in Westerville, I went back to check out the cave. It was gone. Due to the fact that it was undermined, and no longer had a foundation, the first strong wind that came by toppled it over. Where the tree used to stand was a gouge in the hill that looked like someone had taken a bite out of it. I had already had one tree nearly fall on me, I'm glad I wasn't around to make it two.