Monday, May 30, 2011

So Long Tress

Today, Ohio State Head Coach Jim Tressel resigned. The man was a great coach. If you put any big time school under the microscope the OSU has been under, you will find NCAA violations.

I, for one, will miss him.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Flashback Friday #138

Poultry In Motion

Hello again. Hop in the way back machine with me and we'll head back to early in my ninth grade year in High School (that would be 1978).

There was a girl that I had liked in Jr. High, but I was the biggest chicken in the world.

Socially awkward would be an understatement. To compound matters, I had called her cousin "fat & ugly" in Elementary School. Since I was too chicken to say anything to her, I became her "Secret Admirer". Today some would call it stalking, but since this was 1978, and I was all of 14, it was acceptable.

Because I was too shy, awkward, self-conscious (you can stop me any time) to talk to her, I wrote poetry and slipped it into her books while she wasn't paying attention. She sat in front of me in most of the classes, due to the fact that our last names began with the same letter, and most teachers sat us alphabetically until they could put a face with a name.

Drop a pencil, slip a poem into the books on the rack under the desk. Walk to my desk, slip a poem in while she is talking to friends before the bell rings. I kept this up for about two weeks.

Then disaster struck. While slipping a poem in her book, one of her friends caught me. This friend knew no secrets. The jig was up.

She never said anything to me, and I didn't go to her to tell her why I was doing it. I assumed that since she said nothing, she didn't like me, or still held a grudge about her cousin. What I didn't know was that she was waiting for me to make the first move, since she also was shy.

I found out a couple years later (after we had become very good friends) that she was infatuated with the poems. She said that one more would have been all that it would taken to completely woo her. Oh well, I was beginning to run out of ideas to write about anyway.

Did you have a secret admirer? Were you ever one yourself?

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Can Help?

I was planting some posies the other day when I heard a small voice behind me ask "Can Help?".

I made the holes and my helper put the bulbs in. I just had to take a picture of it & send it to my wife & daughter. I then sent a text to my wife saying "Everything is planted." She sent back "Including the kid?" I think my humor is rubbing off on her.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Kisses From Another

Recently, there was an event at church that had small bowls of Hershey chocolate candy on each table. Who doesn't like Hershey Kisses, Rolos & Reeses Peanut Butter Cups? Reeses are my favorite, but I'll eat the others.

Afterward, while we were cleaning up, I handed the remains of a bowl to one of the ladies in our church. There were two Rolos & eight kisses left. She said I could have the remaining candy and dumped them in my shirt pocket.

I looked at her and said "Just wait until my wife finds out that you gave me a bunch of kisses." Her eyes got real big and she let out an audible gasp. She is quite prone to "gotchas" and I definitely got her there. I told my wife the story while giving her the two Rolos (one of her favorites). "I can't believe she didn't see that set-up coming.", she said.

A little later, after supper at a Mexican restaurant, I reached into my shirt pocket & offered one of the candies back to the lady who gave them to me. "Oh no, you're not going to get me this time.", she exclaimed. "No," I replied "Since they have been in my pocket & are starting to get melty, I was going to give you a sloppy kiss."

I thought the other lady sitting with us was going to roll on the floor. Later that night my wife told me "There are times when your humor irritates me, and drives me crazy, but that was really funny."

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Flashback Friday #137

It's The Principal That Matters.

Welcome again to the rambling tales of my youth. Today we look at the educators who form the personalities of their schools. The Principal.

There is marked transition between Jr. High & High School. One of the biggest differences was the personality of the Principal. They were as different as night & day.

In Jr. High, the Principal was Mr. Quick. He was a very nice man. He was very laid back and gentle when dealing with his students. He reminds you of a favorite uncle. It helped me that he liked my brother.In the times I was in his office (which wasn't very often) he remained calm and spoke in such a way that you weren't fearful. There was always the threat of getting swats, but I don't remember him doing it very often.

In High School, The Principal was Mr. Tenpins. To say that the man could set you on edge in an instant would be an understatement. He was gruff & abrupt. The person who most reminds me of Mr. Tenpins the most is, if you have ever seen NCIS, FBI Special Agent Tobias Fornell.

I hadn't been in High School for very long when he met me in the hallway one day as I was heading to class. He asked me if I was the younger brother of Sir Gattabout. I answered that I was. His response was "I'll have to keep my eye on you." With that, he turned on his heel and stalked off.

Oh thank you big brother. This was the very Principal that my brother tormented (see Flashback Friday # 100). Simply because my brother was rotten, I found myself on thin ice. First I miss a sizable chuck of school, then I go to the top of the Principal's "Most Wanted" list. Something told me that High School wasn't going to be an easy place.

Fodder For Conspiracy Theorist

Last summer, The Cleveland Cavilers lost mega star MeBron James (yes, I spelled it correctly). Yesterday, the NBA held its draft lottery. Each teams has ping pong balls in a hopper like you see in a state lottery drawing. The more losses you have, the more balls in the hopper.

Cleveland wound up with the first overall pick, although the Minnesota Timberwolves had the best shot at it. The ball chosen was the one received from the LA Clippers in a mid-season trade for Mo Williams. This ball had a 2.8% chance of being picked. The last time Cleveland had the first pick was in 2003 when they picked the above mentioned Mebron James. Cleveland also wound up with the #4 pick with their own selection.

Many people think the NBA draft lottery is fixed. The Timberwolves have been in the lottery 15 times. They have never wound up with the 1st pick.

Cleveland has a chance to draft two of the top four college basketball players. Hopefully this will jump start the woeful Cavilers.

Monday, May 16, 2011

LOLcat Front Page

You've seen some of the stuff that has made front page for me on the Cheezburger Network. Today, I made it big. I made the front page to the main site, I Can Has Cheezburger, with this:

funny pictures - Did you ever wonder if you rubbed a cat on your head, would it stick on the wall like a balloon.
see more Lolcats and funny pictures

If you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere. It's up to you LOLcats, LOLcats.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Flashback Friday #136

Morning sickness

Greetings one & all. Sorry this wasn't up sooner, but Blogger had some issues.

In this, Flashback Friday #136, we finally venture into High School. The last several post were about the ending of 8th grade and my Jr.High experience. But what does this have to do with the title? Allow me to explain.

On the first day of 9th grade, I caught the bus like I had for many years. This year, school started on a Thursday. I didn't feel very well, but I figured that I was just nervous about a new school year starting. I got off the bus, went into the High School building, and looked on the wall to see which home room class I was in.

I made it to the classroom, and saw many kids that I knew from Jr. High. There were a few there I didn't know. I sat next to a guy, Ron, who was somewhat friendly to me the previous year.

The queasiness that I had felt on the bus hadn't gone away. In fact, it had gotten much worse. I told Ron, that I wasn't feeling good. He assured me that it was just nerves. I told him "you don't understand I really feel #%&*!$ terrible". He raised an eyebrow and told me to go tell the teacher.

I went to the teacher's desk and told her that I felt really bad. She asked if I felt like I was going to throw up. I told her "Yes". She told me to go down to the office. I never understood this. Why go to the office. Do they like seeing kids puke? Is there some weird fascination therein? It made more sense to go to the bathroom and throw up in the toilet, but I did what I was told.

I told the secretary that I felt sick. Just as soon as the words "Do you feel like you are going to throw up?" came out of her mouth, everything I had for breakfast came out of mine. A call went out to the janitor and to Aunt Shelly, who was my emergency contact.

Aunt Shelly came and took me home, where I got sick again. She called Mom at work to let her know. When Mom got home from work, she asked me if I felt any better. I told her that I still felt really, really bad. She tried to get me to eat some saltines, but I couldn't hold them down.

The next day, I got ready for school. I didn't feel as bad, but I didn't feel good. About 10 minutes before the bus came, I made a mad dash to "bow before the throne". When the bus stopped, I waved it on. I then called Mom to let her know that I didn't go to school. She said maybe I would feel better after the weekend.

But I didn't. Monday I was still sick. Tuesday too. Wednesday Mom took me to the doctor. He ran a few test and decided that I had acute gastritis (that's Latin for "I don't have a clue what's wrong with him), and put me on a very bland diet. Thursday, even the bland diet didn't stay down. Friday, more of the same. At this point I had missed the first seven days of school due to being sick in the morning, hence the title of this post, morning sickness.

The only thing that I was able to keep down with any regularity was a vanilla milkshake. It got to the point where my parents would bring one home with them for my supper. In the nine days that I was sick, I lost nearly 20 pounds.My new school clothes didn't fit right. They were a bit baggy.

When I finally made it back to school, I had to see the guidance counselor first thing.He was under the impression that since I hadn't been to school, I must have moved away. I explained my sickness and showed him the doctor's note. He arranged for me to get to my classes and had the teachers get together all the assignments that I had missed. Talk about having a lot of homework to do after just one day at school.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Sweet Tea & Laughs

I told my wife this funny story about a conversation with "The Boy" on Monday.

On Mother's Day, my parents & their aide, my brother & his wife and the Ogre & family all got together here for a family gathering. Mom wanted to provide all the food, and we provided drinks. We had sodas, sweet tea, sweet mint tea, and unsweetened tea (since my brother doesn't like sweet tea, like we do).

On Monday I picked up The Boy from school. As we got home, he went into the kitchen for a snack. As he took a pitcher of tea out of the refrigerator, I was asked the following questions:

The Boy: "Papa, is this the regular tea?
Me: Yes.
The Boy: Regular sweet tea?
Me: Yes
The Boy: With sugar?
Me: Yes.
The Boy: Oh good. I had some tea yesterday that didn't have any sugar in it. It was nasty.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day to All

I know you've all thought this a a time or two.


Saturday, May 7, 2011

Date Night

Last night Lady Nottaguy-TYG & I had the opportunity to go out on a date. Alone. This doesn't happen very often. She had already purchased a restaurant gift card from a fundraiser. Then, a few days ago, she won two tickets to the local college's presentation of "The King & I"

We went to dinner, which was very good. We finished with about 30 minutes until the doors open for the play. The college was five minutes away. We sat & chatted while we waited. I suggested that we smooch, but that idea was shot down.

When we got inside, we discovered that the ticket we had were in the ideal spot for viewing. They were about 3/4 of they way back in the first section of seating, right smack in the middle. There was only one problem. The seats must have been purchased from a renovation of a large elementary school. They made airline seats look large. This made them very uncomfortable for anyone larger than a size 4. I think they could have been used to extract information from GITMO detainees.

But I digress. We arrived early enough to watch the orchestra warm up. It brought back memories of watching my kids in High School band. I had never been to a musical with live orchestration.

When the King of Siam made his appearance, the first thing I said to my wife was "He has hair". If you have ever seen the Rogers & Hammerstein classic, you know the king was played by Yul Brynner, who is bald. Never the less, the student playing the king was wonderful, excellent, phenomenal etcetera, ectetera, ectetera...

The musical ended a few minutes before 11 PM. Those who know us, know that is past our bedtime. We came home and crashed after a marvelous night out.

The next morning, I submitted this picture to "So Much Pun"

Friday, May 6, 2011

Flashback Friday #135

Someone At Madison Ave. Was Really Doing Their Job Right.

Greetings one & all. I've been hashing this post around for a while, and since I can't think of another topic, here goes.

Seeing that I watched a numerous amount of TV as a child (some would say too much), I also watched a vast amount of commercials. This was a time even before VHS (gasp) so you were at the mercy of the networks. But in order for the networks to stay on, commercial airtime must be sold. Here are a few that are memorable.

I remember when Keebler cookies first came out. The jingle on the commercial sounded like this (and this is from memory)

Man, You never would believe where those Keebler cookies come from.

They're baked by magic elves in a hollow tree.

And what do you think makes those crackers so uncommon?

They're baked in magic ovens and there's no factory.

I remember this so well because every time this commercial would come on, Mom would come unglued. "That's false advertisement.", she would holler.

Who could ever forget "Mikey" from the Life cereal commercials (I love Life cereal). I also liked the commercial when cinnamon Life first came out. The camp counsellor says "Eat up men, it's good for you." One of the kids looks at another and says "Good for you, Bet it taste yucky." I use that line all the time

If I had a dollar for ever commercial that I ever watched, Bill Gates would look like a pauper compared to me. Even now, 30-40 years later some of them are forever etched into my brain

Here a little quiz to see if you know any of the sponsors. Just fill in the blanks. No peeking at the answers.

1)_______ lets the good times roll.

2)________ coffe is moutain grown.

3)Baseball, hot dogs, apple pie _________.

4)Follow the leader, he's on a _____.

5)Please don't squeeze the _______.

6)Put the milk on _____ _______, eat 'em all up.

7)Oh yeah, ________, wipes out thirst.

8) Have a ______ and a smile.

9)______ puts more snack in your break.

10)_______, the quicker picker-upper.

Answers: 1) Kawaski, 2) Foldgers 3)Chevrolet 4) Honda 5) Charmin 6) Kellog Corn Flakes 7) Kool-Aid 8) Coke 9) Summit bars (a now defunct candy bar) 10) Bounty

Is there a commercial that you just can't get out of your head?

Thursday, May 5, 2011

25? It Sneaked Up On Me.

Today is Adoption Day. The day when I adopted Lady Lemon & The Ogre. I knew this. I bought cards and gifts for them. The Ogre got hers this morning when she dropped "The Girl" off at 5:30 AM. Lady Lemons is in the mail.

What didn't dawn on me until I read my wife's blog that this is the 25th anniversary.

A hearty Happy 25th to my baby girls.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

How's That Again?

Today we stopped at Little Ceasar's (I can use the name since it is shown in the photo) and got a couple of pizzas for supper. On each pizza box was the coupon pictured above. It says that you can save 75 cents on any Sierra Mist Natural product. The kicker is, you can't use it at the place you got it. There is a asterisks that says "Offer not valid at Little Ceasars". Am I missing something? I just think this is hilarious.

Monday, May 2, 2011


A name that jumped into prominence on 9/11/01 was the same one mentioned prominently on the news last night. In case you were under a rock, or haven't heard, Osama bin Laden was killed last night in a fire fight with Navy SEAL Team Six.

This brings some closure to those who lost loved ones on that fateful day.