There once was quite a prankster...Who me?
Greetings my friends, and welcome to to the insanity that I refer to as Flashback Friday. My daughter, Lady Lemon, requested a few months ago that I tell some of the stories that happened while I was in college, and with April Fools being this week (and a happy belated birthday to the Woodsman) it is the perfect time to tell of some of my favorite practical jokes. Fasten your seat belts because were going to jump the time line from last week about 10 years. Are you ready? Here we go! Wooosh.
I attended a small business university in Columbus after I graduated from high school (that is where I met Lady Nottaguy-TYG. Thank you G.T.J.). The college placed me in a work study job at the Community Health & Nursing Service located on the Ohio State University campus (Go Bucks!) This was quite the culture shock for me. Everyone I worked with was from inner city Columbus. Coming from a rural town without a stop light, this was as different as night and day.
Since I came from "the country", my co-workers wanted to know what kind of animals we raised on our farm (everybody who lives in "the country" lives on a farm, don't they?) Remembering a joke I had heard from the FFA members in high school, I told them that we raised dairy hogs ( I actually owned a hutch of rabbits). One of the guys who worked packing the milk & orange juice recognized that the word dairy = milk. "Milk from a pig?" he asked, "Who would want milk from a pig?" Thinking fast, I replied"Many people are lactose intolerant. They have to have something to take the place of cow's milk." He was satisfied with that answer.
Over the next few weeks, I collected carrot peels, outer cabbage leaves, and slightly wilted salad mix to "take home for the dairy hogs" (the rabbits ate well). One day one of my co-workers wanted to know if I could bring in a picture of a dairy hog. I told him "With film and developing as expensive as it is, we don't waste film taking pictures of livestock, we reserve it for family, but I'll see what I can do." (this was before digital cameras).
That night we had a tremendous storm system tear through central Ohio. We had high winds, hail, thunderstorms and a few tornado sightings in the surrounding counties. When I got to work, I told the co-workers that a tree had fallen across a section of fencing, and that the whole herd stampeded through the fence and drowned in the rain swollen creek behind our house. They were devastated. "Won't this put you out of business?" they asked. "We had our livestock insured." I replied. "The insurance company will cut us a check and we will buy a new heard in the spring." Nothing more was said about dairy hogs the rest of the time that I worked there.
The other joke I will tell you about deals with the worst sunburn that I have ever had in my life. My faithful readers know that I can't swim, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying myself in the water. I was in a friend's swimming pool, floating with my arms draped over an inner tube. I was in that position for about two hours. The sun blistered my back, shoulders, and arms. I couldn't wear a shirt for three days (when you are working food service, it is a good thing to wear a shirt) so I had to call off work.
When I returned to work, one of my co-workers who had recently arrived in Columbus from Ethiopia was one of the first to see me. As I was walking up the outside steps, I was peeling great hunks of skin from my arms. He walked over to me and asked "Hey, Why is your skin falling off?" I looked at him straight faced and replied "Oh this? It's just a mild case of leprosy." His eyes grew as wide as saucers and he exclaimed "You are unclean! You are going to die!" With that, he scurried off as fast as he could. (Did I mention that he was also Jewish, therefore knowing the biblical implication of leprosy?)
I just couldn't let a golden opportunity like that get away. All the rest of the day, any time I entered a room that he was in, he exited quickly. At the end of the day, I was to mop the cooking area. As I went to fill my mop bucket, I spied my unfortunate co-worker spraying off serving carts. The noise from the water covered my approach. I snuck up behind him, covered his eyes, and sang out sweetly "Guess who?" He let out a blood curdling scream that would have fit into any Steven King movie. He turned to me and said "You are unclean, I will clean you". There was a sign on the wall that said "DANGER: WATER TEMPERATURE 270 DEGREES". Realizing that he was going to spray me off with 270 degree water I figured I had taken this prank a little too far.
"Wait!" I cried out, "I don't have leprosy!" "No leprosy?", he asked, "Then why is your skin falling off?" I explained to him that because my skin was light, if I stayed out in the sun too long, the sun would burn my skin, and then it would peel off like it was doing. It was called a sunburn. He had never seen a sunburn before. "No leprosy?" he asked again. "No leprosy." I replied. "Not contagious?", he asked. "Not contagious." I explained. He then cussed me out in Ethiopian. What can I say, I deserved it.
How about you? Did you ever play a prank on someone? Did it backfire?
Check out more stories at "My Tiny Kingdom's Flashback Friday carnival.
Greetings my friends, and welcome to to the insanity that I refer to as Flashback Friday. My daughter, Lady Lemon, requested a few months ago that I tell some of the stories that happened while I was in college, and with April Fools being this week (and a happy belated birthday to the Woodsman) it is the perfect time to tell of some of my favorite practical jokes. Fasten your seat belts because were going to jump the time line from last week about 10 years. Are you ready? Here we go! Wooosh.
I attended a small business university in Columbus after I graduated from high school (that is where I met Lady Nottaguy-TYG. Thank you G.T.J.). The college placed me in a work study job at the Community Health & Nursing Service located on the Ohio State University campus (Go Bucks!) This was quite the culture shock for me. Everyone I worked with was from inner city Columbus. Coming from a rural town without a stop light, this was as different as night and day.
Since I came from "the country", my co-workers wanted to know what kind of animals we raised on our farm (everybody who lives in "the country" lives on a farm, don't they?) Remembering a joke I had heard from the FFA members in high school, I told them that we raised dairy hogs ( I actually owned a hutch of rabbits). One of the guys who worked packing the milk & orange juice recognized that the word dairy = milk. "Milk from a pig?" he asked, "Who would want milk from a pig?" Thinking fast, I replied"Many people are lactose intolerant. They have to have something to take the place of cow's milk." He was satisfied with that answer.
Over the next few weeks, I collected carrot peels, outer cabbage leaves, and slightly wilted salad mix to "take home for the dairy hogs" (the rabbits ate well). One day one of my co-workers wanted to know if I could bring in a picture of a dairy hog. I told him "With film and developing as expensive as it is, we don't waste film taking pictures of livestock, we reserve it for family, but I'll see what I can do." (this was before digital cameras).
That night we had a tremendous storm system tear through central Ohio. We had high winds, hail, thunderstorms and a few tornado sightings in the surrounding counties. When I got to work, I told the co-workers that a tree had fallen across a section of fencing, and that the whole herd stampeded through the fence and drowned in the rain swollen creek behind our house. They were devastated. "Won't this put you out of business?" they asked. "We had our livestock insured." I replied. "The insurance company will cut us a check and we will buy a new heard in the spring." Nothing more was said about dairy hogs the rest of the time that I worked there.
The other joke I will tell you about deals with the worst sunburn that I have ever had in my life. My faithful readers know that I can't swim, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying myself in the water. I was in a friend's swimming pool, floating with my arms draped over an inner tube. I was in that position for about two hours. The sun blistered my back, shoulders, and arms. I couldn't wear a shirt for three days (when you are working food service, it is a good thing to wear a shirt) so I had to call off work.
When I returned to work, one of my co-workers who had recently arrived in Columbus from Ethiopia was one of the first to see me. As I was walking up the outside steps, I was peeling great hunks of skin from my arms. He walked over to me and asked "Hey, Why is your skin falling off?" I looked at him straight faced and replied "Oh this? It's just a mild case of leprosy." His eyes grew as wide as saucers and he exclaimed "You are unclean! You are going to die!" With that, he scurried off as fast as he could. (Did I mention that he was also Jewish, therefore knowing the biblical implication of leprosy?)
I just couldn't let a golden opportunity like that get away. All the rest of the day, any time I entered a room that he was in, he exited quickly. At the end of the day, I was to mop the cooking area. As I went to fill my mop bucket, I spied my unfortunate co-worker spraying off serving carts. The noise from the water covered my approach. I snuck up behind him, covered his eyes, and sang out sweetly "Guess who?" He let out a blood curdling scream that would have fit into any Steven King movie. He turned to me and said "You are unclean, I will clean you". There was a sign on the wall that said "DANGER: WATER TEMPERATURE 270 DEGREES". Realizing that he was going to spray me off with 270 degree water I figured I had taken this prank a little too far.
"Wait!" I cried out, "I don't have leprosy!" "No leprosy?", he asked, "Then why is your skin falling off?" I explained to him that because my skin was light, if I stayed out in the sun too long, the sun would burn my skin, and then it would peel off like it was doing. It was called a sunburn. He had never seen a sunburn before. "No leprosy?" he asked again. "No leprosy." I replied. "Not contagious?", he asked. "Not contagious." I explained. He then cussed me out in Ethiopian. What can I say, I deserved it.
How about you? Did you ever play a prank on someone? Did it backfire?
Check out more stories at "My Tiny Kingdom's Flashback Friday carnival.
4 comments:
Oh my goodness! Both of your stories are hilarious. Yes, I have played some pranks, but I won't even go there because they're nothing compared to yours!
Have a great week!
Debi
MY FAVORITES!!
I am deeply dissapointed. You did not chronicle the ground hog incident, or the deer chicken, or deer berries. Leprosy is my favorite though.
I am not the prankster around here, but I think you and Nurse Boy would be the best of friends!
Mrs. Nurse Boy
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