Monday, March 30, 2009

Jokes

I love jokes. I bought a game called "The Joke Game" at Big Book Seller on clearance for $1 (regular price $24.99). Unfortunately, about half the jokes don't meet my approval. here are some of the better ones. Warning, some are not "Politically Correct" (I despise PC). If you are a PC guru, stop reading now:




Q: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

A: They taste funny.




Q: What do you do when a leper rolls his eyes at you?

A: Pick them up and roll them back.




Q: What do the letters DNA stand for?

A: National Dyslexic's Association.




Q: How long do congressmen serve?

A: Until they get caught.




Q: Why don't blind people like to skydive?

A: It scares the dog.




Q: Why don't sharks eat divorce lawyers?

A: Professional courtesy.




Q: Why do they lock gas station restrooms?

A: They are afraid that someone will clean them.




Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?

A: He had low elf esteem.




Q: Why can't blondes dial 911?

A: They can't find the eleven.




Q: Why were ET's eyes so big?

A: He saw the phone bill.




Q: What do you get when you cross the godfather with a lawyer?

A: An offer you can't understand.




Q: What's a sure way to drive someone crazy?

A: Send them an e-mail saying "Please, please, please disregard the first e-mail."




Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?

A: The take the psycho path.




Q: What is the difference between the mafia and the government?

A: One of them is organized.




Q:What do you call a dog with no legs?

A: It doesn't matter. It won't come anyway.




Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs?

A: Right where you left it.




Q: What do you call a midget psychic who escaped from jail?

A: A small medium at large.


More to come in the next post.

4 comments:

Liz said...

those were hilarious! I laughed until I cried at the legless dog jokes.

Mr. and Mrs. Nurse Boy said...

Sooo funny! Love the jokes!

Mrs. Nurse Boy

Jewel said...

Now, those are my kind of jokes!!! LOL That you so much for taking the time to share these, Sir NG! prea

NOBODY said...

So, DNA made me laugh out loud, as did "How do you drive someone crazy" which I am TOTALLY going to use.

Thanks for the laughs.