Greeting one & all. Yes, I know I'm late, but better late than never.
Some of my readers are old enough to know what Dogpatch is. If you're not, I tell you. Dogpatch is the small town that was featured in Al Capp's "Lil' Abner". It was a backwater hovel in the Ozarks that was filled with stereotypical hillbillies. What does this have to do with anything, you might ask?
I have mentioned before that I had joined FHA (because it was loaded with girls). One of the earliest fundraisers of the year for them this year was "Dogpatch Family Night". Someone (I swear it wasn't me.) got the bright idea of setting up a carnival type atmosphere based on the Lil 'Abner comic. There would be a chili & cornbread supper with several booth game (like "fishin' fur prizes" and "spunge toss"). The advisers thought it was a great idea, so it was advertised to the community and all the FHA members were required to be there to help in some way, dressed as a hillbilly.
Aside from the afore mentioned fun, there was also a face painting booth, a dance floor, and games like sack race & 3-legged race. Needless to say, it wasn't too well attended. As the night began to fade away, we were told that we could do anything as long as we were there ,ready to help clean up at 9 PM. Since this was held in the school, clean-up was a must.
While we were wandering around (I was still seeing Kelly Stump at the time, and she also was a FHA member), Kelly suggested we go over to the dance floor and dance. The DJ was a former student known to have an enormous record collection.However, since we were smack in the disco era, his collection of Rock didn't make dancing to it very easy. Ever try to disco dance to Molly Hatchet's "Flirtin' With Disaster"? Kelly was determined to dance, so she did. Her hillbilly outfit consisted of a bibbed jean jumper and flannel shirt. While out on the dance floor, as she was gyrating, EVERYBODY discovered that she wasn't wearing a jumper. What appeared to be a jumper was actually a bibbed set of hot pants with a wrap skirt over it to give it the appearance of being a jumper.
How did everybody discover this? While dancing, she undid her skirt, ripped it off & flung it away. There were audible gasps heard over the blaring music. When Mrs. Redwood (the head FHA advisor) heard what Kelly had done, she marched Kelly aside and had a long talk to her about the appropriateness of her actions. Later, she pulled me aside and commented that I was too good of a kid to be mixed up with someone like Kelly. She advised me to find another girlfriend.