Saturday, October 31, 2009

Scary Stuff

In the spirit of the day, I present to you some frightfully scary pictures that I found at ESPN. The following pictorial is not intended for young viewers or those who are pregnant or have heart conditions. You have been warned.

Here it is. Frightfully ugly professional sports uniforms.

This is Nate Colbert modeling the San Diego Padres' all yellow uniforms of the early 70's. He looks like a stick of margarine or a bananna wearing a batting helmet.

This is Thomas Gradin of the Vancouver Canucks wearing the uniform that they wore during the late 70 & early 80's. They should have called themselves the Vancouver Ew-Yucks.

This is Doug Williams wearing the original uniform of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Nothing says "buccaneer" like blaze orange. I wonder if Blackbeard ever wore something like this?

Here is Frank Robinson wearing the all red uniform of the Cleveland Indians of the mid 70's. That's almost as difficult to look at as the current team.

Here is Cameron Odam of the Ontario Hockey League's Kingston Frontenacs. They wore Don Cherry (announcer of Hockey Night in Canada) inspired jerseys for charity. Perhaps the charity will buy Don some new sports coats so he can throw out his collection of hideous blazers.
Chicago White Sox outfielder Ralph Garr models the ghastly uniforms worn by the team during the mid to late 70's. They even teamed up the collared uniform tops with shorts for one game. They should have blown up the uniforms during "Disco Demolition Night".

Brroks Robinson's face shows his pleasure in wearing the all orange uniforms of the Baltimore Orioles of 1971. Those uniforms look more suitable for picking up trash along the highway. What is it with teams making future Hall of Famers look ridiculous? (see Frank Robinson above)

Jose Cruz and the Houston Astros made a fashion statement that is admired today as the Astrodome (demolished) and Astroturf (should be). Does this scream "polyester" or what?
Just to prove that ugly uniforms weren't subject to the 70's, the Seattle Seahawks wore this "alternate" jersey recently. Seneca Wallace isn't running from the defensive pass rush, he's running from a mirror.
The Denver Broncos recently wore these uniforms as a a tribute to the 50th anniversary of the old AFL (which later merged with the NFL). Here D.J. Williams (left) and Champ Bailey remind every about the frightening consequences of vertical striped socks. According to legend, the first year Broncos operated on a shoe string budget and were offered the uniforms from a college all-star game. After the first year, they socks were replace, except for one that was framed, and hung in the owners office.

I hope I didn't blind you, or emotionally scar you for life with these pictures.

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