Upon His Hind Legs

Flashback Friday # 171

2012-02-03T05:21:00.000-05:00

Cadillac Crunch Time

A hearty welcome to one and all. It's good to be back. I debated which narrative to spin for you this time, and since there's been a lot of gloom on the Flashback Friday post recently, I decided to go with a light hearted story for today.

Those of you who have read this blog for a while recall the pool table that Dad bought. The neighbors of the folks that had the pool table were good friends of Dad's best friend, Chuck. Both the father and the son had the same name, and the first name rhymed with the last name.

But I digress. The Dad of this family had a Cadillac that had some major mechanical issues. They were such that he was going to enter it in the upcoming demolition derby at the county fair. Back then (late 70's), the prize money was $200 for the winner of the derby.

The kids spray painted slogans like "Hit me" and "Crunch" on the car. The only thing that needed done was to take out the windshield & windows, which was going to be done there at the fairgrounds. There was a nearby auto parts salvage dealership (aka junk yard) that would buy up all the glass from the cars. If you took it out beforehand, there was a chance it might get broken in transport.

The Dad got into the car to drive it up onto the trailer. He started it up and put it in drive, and the car wouldn't move. The transmission had given out. Even with all his mechanical knowledge, he couldn't get the car to move. Great, there goes the prize money. He could sell it for junk, but he had another idea.

There was an upcoming street festival in town. This particular Saturday, the main street was blocked off and food vendors and carnival games dotted the street. He may have missed out on the demolition derby prize money, but the entrepreneurial spirit ran deep in him. He towed that Cadillac into town, and charged people 50 cents for three swings with a sledgehammer.

I personally spent $5.00 taking whacks at that car. I had gotten there a bit later in the day due to working that Saturday with Mom. I was told that the windows & windshield were the first to be smashed. By the time the day was over, the car that he was going to sell for junk anyway proved to be more valuable than one would think. He got the same price for the scrap value, but with the money that was brought in from smashing it, it came out to more than the $200 he would have won if he had won the derby.

New Years Resolution- A Month Later

2012-02-01T16:09:00.000-05:00

Surfing the Net Again

2012-01-31T19:07:00.006-05:00

It's Sooooo good to be back. My wife had issues with some of the dietary restrictions, I missed the Internet the most. My first day back was spent on Cheezburger, getting caught up on who needed what to finish the collectible sets (since they have ended, and trading lasts only until April 15). The last picture that I captioned before the fast made homepage on "Set Phasers to LOL"

While I was away, I got a couple of handyman projects finished. We had been wanting to replace our solid utility closet door with a louvered door. Since the duct work for upstairs runs through this closet, its HOT in the winter and Cold in the summer. Noe it's just right and the hallway around it is more comfortable. I found the door at the Habitat For Humanity Resale Store for $20. We were invited to a Pamper Chef party the following day. My wife asked if I was going. I told her that I was hanging that door before I did anything. I finished hanging it at 12:15 and the party was at 1. I went.

I also made a small shelf for my wife to put her seasonal clothing on. Since the Christmas sweaters and such are worn for a short period of time, she didn't want them taking up closet rod space. I took some pine 1x12's I had and fashioned this shelf:

Saturday marked the first tournament for the Jr Bible quizzers. I've been head scorekeeper for the last dozen or so years. I was a little worried about being scheduled to work that Saturday since my vacation request for the Friday before or the Monday after had both been denied. I didn't have to work, so I put in seven hours at the quiz. I was especially excited since this is the first year that "The Boy" was quizzing. His team finished tied for fifth and he was Honorable Mention All-Tournament Team with a 46 point per quiz average.

Sunday, I told one of the folks at church that I had fruit for breakfast. They looked puzzled until I explained that it was "forbidden fruit" of the Daniel fast: Donuts, chocolate & Diet Coke (sounds like the breakfast of champions). We also went to "The Ogre's" house after church to celebrate her birthday and "The Girl's" birthday, which was earlier in the week. Mmmm cake.

Tonight we went out to a local steakhouse that has half price burgers on Tuesdays. It smelled wonderful in there. My burger looked wonderful. It tasted wonderful. I'm such a carnivore.

Daniel Fast

2012-01-08T22:35:00.005-05:00

Just an FYI, I'll be off here for the next 21 days. See Daniel 10:2&3 and here, for more details. In the meantime & between time you can see some of the things that make me smile & LOL. It may take you a few of those 21 days to get through the entire site.

The Good Son

2012-01-07T21:51:00.000-05:00

Today, I spent a long time at my parents house. Ever since their caretaker moved out, there's been several little jobs that piled up that they just weren't able to get to. Here is a list of odd jobs that Mom gave me:
Rehang shower curtain
Clean out dryer vent
Unload pantry shelf
Fasten pantry shelf to wall
Load pantry shelf
Drive stray nails into trim
Take laundry basket of cookware to shed
Take tools to shed
Put furnace filters in
Attach lock hasp top other shed
Hook up digital picture frame
Clean out & move out dresser
Open stuck door
Pack & take canned goods home with me.

It only took me about seven hours to finish the list.

Flashback Friday # 170

2012-01-06T05:15:00.003-05:00

The Death of Uncle Brad

Hello. It's nice that you could stop by again. Pull up a chair & stay awhile (it's really uncomfortable reading your computer while you're standing).

As you can tell by the title of the post, this isn't a normal, lighthearted post. Uncle Brad was the first Uncle or Aunt that I lost. He was the husband of Mom's closest sister, Liza. Since they lived in Massilion, we didn't get to see them all that often. I think the only time I ever got to see Uncle Brad was at family reunions. He was a mailman, so on the Saturdays that Aunt Liza would drive down to Aunt Pam's house, he would have to stay home and work. I only remember being at his house once.

Not only was he a mailman, he was also an avid lover of the theater. The was a local playhouse that he spent a lot of time at, not only patronizing, but helping behind the scenes. He could be found there at least 2-3 times a week.

One evening, as he and Aunt Liza were driving home, a car barrelled out of a drive in movie parking lot. The driver paid no heed to oncoming traffic, and struck Uncle Brad's vehicle. Uncle Brad was pronounced dead at the scene, along with the driver of the other car. Aunt Liza was rushed to the hospital with a mangled leg and many other less serious injuries.

After sever hours of surgery, the doctors were able to put Aunt Liza's leg back to gether. A large hunk of her calf was missing, but she regained full use of her leg again, although it pained her frequently. The coroners report stated that the other driver was drunk at over twice the limit. He had no family, and no insurance, so there was no recourse.

Mom was quite upset when she heard the news. She drove up to Massilion that night (a two & half hour drive). She called into her work & took several days off to be with Aunt Liza and help make funeral arrangements.

After Aunt Liza came home from the hospital and was getting around better, she decided to clean out some of Uncle Brad's things. I got several US Mail coats (I was told that I had to take the emblems off)and the gloves Uncle Brad wore on his route. I had the coats for years.

One thing Aunt Liza found while going through his this was really sad. She found letters from one of the actress at the playhouse. She and Uncle Brad had a relationship going for several years. Aunt Liza said that she hadn't a clue that there was something going on behind her back. This could explain why he was at the theater so often.

A Green Christmas Gift from A Not-So-Handyman

2012-01-03T15:43:00.014-05:00

A few months ago, I got the wild idea to make a gift for some of the grand kids. I had seen at Largestretailerintheworld-Mart or in a magazine a beanbag toss game that had an Angry Birds theme. It was a piece of cardboard with varied sized holes with different point values. At first I considered something like that, but in the end, I decided to make a child's size corn hole game instead. I consider it "green" since everything (but the duct tape) was stuff that I had on hand or picked from the scrap at work.

It was child sized for two reasons. Reason #1: It was for children to play with, the oldest of these being 10, the youngest, almost three. Reason #2: The frames were made entirely out of scrap wood pieces that I got from work. The longest of these being 27" long.

The top was made from some fiberboard pieces that were also from work. They protected some expensive material. More scrap that was being used for my project.

I brought the wood home and cut it into piece that would make a 27"X13" frame. I had cut the fiberboard at work on my pneumatic shearer. I then had to make a 6" hole in the fiberboard. I used a coffee can to get the size I needed, after measuring out where it would need to go. I made pilot holes with a 1" drill bit and a sabre saw to cut out the hole.

I then printed out a coloring page and traced out the red bird and the king pig onto a transparency. I brought home an overhead projector from church and cast the images onto the fiberboard. I traced them with a sharpie and painted them with acrylic paints. To prove to folks that I did indeed paint the pictures, and not just added a decal, I took pictures of them as I just started painting them.

To attach the top, I needed to drill pilot holes into it to avoid splitting. I nailed it on with finishing nails.

The legs were the hardest part. I used a fruit can to mark the curve, then cut it with the sabre saw. I then measured the center mark and drilled it out. there was a lot of sanding done on the legs before they worked properly. I fastened them on with nuts & bolts found in the various cans of hardware I have in the basement.

Since the fiberboard had some sharp edges, I sanded the edges intensely. My wife then suggested that I used duct tape to cover the sides to not only protect but to decorate the sides. We found red & green duct tape.

We wrapped them and gave them to two sets of our grand kids. They were a big hit.

Flashback Friday # 169

2011-12-30T23:34:00.002-05:00

Technologically Impaired

Welcome one & all to this last FBF of the year.

I've mentioned that one of the clubs that I joined in high school was the Media club. The Media club were, for lack of better words, the geeks of the school. We were all student librarians and helpers in the library. The president was always a senior.

The current president was voted class clown of his graduating class. He was an absolute riot. When a new piece of equipment came in, he showed it even more.

This piece of equipment was a picture viewer (like a slide projector that was hooked up to a TV). You recorded comments about the pictures and played them back during the slide show. Sort of like a powder point presentation of the day.

The president, Arnie, set up the contraption and began flashing pictures across the screen. He gave a hilarious comment for each and every picture for about a half hour. We were holding our sides with laughter at the end of the demonstration.

He then set the viewer to rewind and we were going to watch the whole thing again on TV with all the captions. When the program came on there was one problem. The "record button hadn't been depress, or the pause button released (I can't remember which). None the less, the were no pictures with comments. Since meeting time was rapidly coming to and end, He did about five pictures, with the recording on this time. Even techno geeks can mess things up by times.

Mt. Dew Call of Duty

2011-12-27T20:21:00.003-05:00

Here's a shout out to everyone who has entered codes from the Mt. Dew Call of Duty sweepstakes. I need one card to complete the series. It ends Dec. 31. If you can help, I'd appreciate it. I have lots & lots of cards to trade. Click here to check it out.

Flashback Friday # 168

2011-12-23T05:01:00.002-05:00

OCD Tree, OCD Tree, How Beautiful Are Your Branches

Greeting to all. Are you ready for Christmas yet? I'm not, and wasn't when I was younger until the task of putting up the Christmas tree was finished.

As I was putting up the tree this year, my wife was running errands. When she got home, I was putting on the finishing touches. She commented that I decorate it really nice. Every thing looked just where it looked like it should be. I told her there was a reason for that. Mom was very OCD about the Christmas tree.

When I was much younger, the task of putting up the tree fell to me & Sir Gattabout. The ornaments were evenly distributed to the tune of making sure we had the exact same everything. A line of demarcation was made, and I had to decorate my side & Gattabout did his. Mom would pipe up "There's to many blue ornaments in that particular area." or "You can't put those ornaments next to each other, they're the same shape. I had to watch where Gattabout put his ornaments so I could judge where mine could go.

When Gattabout joined the Army, the tree task fell solely on my shoulders. I would have to scale the ladder and climb into the attic to drag everything out (including the tree). It had been drilled into me, same colored ornaments can't be near each other. Similar shapes couldn't either. I would take all the similar ornaments and put them on first. One at the bottom, one in the middle, one near the top. One in the front, one in the back. All around the tree I would do this. When I was finished, there were no similar ornaments any nearby. I didn't realize just how ingrained that had become until Lady Nottaguy-TYG mentioned it, since we normally trim the tree together.

Some of the weirdest things stick with us longer than we can imagine. A Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night.

The Week Went "Whoosh" As Zoomed By.

2011-12-22T20:46:00.002-05:00

I have to look at the calendar to believe that a whole week has gone by. I blinked, and it was gone. Last Friday, Lady Nottaguy-TYG and I had a date night. She had won tickets to the Gaither Homecoming concert in Columbus. We went out to eat, then headed to the concert. An accident had I-71 south at a crawl for several miles just inside Columbus. When we got the the concert venue, there was an unpleasant surprise. The seat were only a span wide (a span is the length from your elbow to the tip of your middle finger. I measured mine, 17") Those who know us know there is a bit more than 17" upon which we sit. After being uncomfortable for 2 1/2 hours, we decided to leave at intermission. Hint Schottenstein center: don't purchase your seats from elementary schools that are closing.

My work decided that since we have the 23rd off, we needed to make up for it. We had to be at work at 5 AM until 3PM from Monday-Wednesday. This coming week, since we have the 26th off, same thing only Tuesday-Friday. I'm wooped.

The boy had us laughing recently. We were discussing the sanctions handed down to OSU (don't even go there) and I mentioned that it wouldn't hurt recruiting since the oncoming Freshmen could become redshirts and still have four years eligibility. "The Boy" then said, "I didn't think it was good to be a redshirt. They always get killed off (reference to ""Star Trek") LOL.

I hope to be more active , but at least I'll make sure the "Flashback Friday" post keep coming.

Flashback Friday # 167

2011-12-16T05:43:00.000-05:00

The Christmas Cookie

Greetings one & all. Welcome to another post about stuff that happened to me many moons ago.

As my title suggests, this post is about the wonderful tradition of giving cookies to someone at Christmas. However, this post isn't about the cookies we made. It is about a cookie that Dad got from one of our relatives.

Frequent readers of my blog know Aunt Shelly. She was as pious as one could get. There are times that she would make a Quaker feel worldly next to her. There were other times when her piety went right out the window. There a word for that, but we weren't allowed to say it in our house (at least in hearing distance of Mom). This story is about one of the "Bad Shelly" moments.

Mom always gave Aunt Shelly's family several dozen cookies (with 14 kids, a dozen just wouldn't do). Aunt Shelly decided to do a little baking of her own. She made a special cookie, just for Dad.

When they came over, she handed Dad a wrapped box and told him to unwrap it. It was a check box with one cookie in it. But this was no ordinary cookie. This was a Santa cookie. An anatomically correct Santa.

Dad thought it was hilarious. He kept that cookie for years, tucked inside the little box he came in. He would bring it out to show his friends who hadn't seen it before. It was a prized possession to him.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. Since we lived in the country, we always had problems with mice. Our house was nearly 100 years old, so it wasn't the snuggest. One winter a mouse decided to chew through the box to eat the contents. The mouse didn't eat all of it. Santa's head was gone. In more ways than one.

That's My Boy

2011-12-15T16:35:00.001-05:00

Sunday night, One of the ladies at our church was telling everyone about a dessert social that will be held immediately after our Christmas cantata the following Sunday. She said that the desserts need to be something that can be held in your hand while folks mingle & greet. My grandson "The Boy" turned to Lady Nottaguy-TYG (aka Nana)and said "That settles it. Jell-o it is."

It's not nice to snort during the announcements at church, so I did my level best to stifle it. Lady Nottaguy-TYG said to me "I don't know who to smack, him or you". He's a chip off the ol' block.

Flashback Friday # 166

2011-12-09T10:02:00.005-05:00

Addition By Subtraction

Greetings one & all. Welcome back to another post about the other world that I used to live in (the past). My recent run-in with the dentist brought this story to my remembrance. I am beginning to wonder if i have repeated myself on any of these stories, but I've not had anyone tell me that I have.

I have discussed the many health problems that Dad had. He had several mild heart attacks and quitting smoking had helped, but he still wasn't in real good health. Part of the reason for this was that he had terrible dental hygiene. No dental hygiene would be a better phrasing. Due to this, his teeth were poisoning his system. There was only one alternative.

Dad went in to have all of his teeth pulled. The doctor assured him that by removing his teeth, his health would dramatically get better. When he came home (Mom went with him to drive him home) he looked really wiped out. He didn't go to work for about a week (he had some vacation time saved up). His diet consisted on all soft foods. He lost a lot of weight until his gums toughened up enough to begin to eat semi-solid foods.

Once his gums toughened up, Mom approached him about getting dentures. He said he wasn't ready for them yet. Give him some more time for his gums to toughen a little more. He knew several people with dentures that had problems with them.

Months passed. A full year passed. He was eating almost everything that he had eaten before he had his teeth out. Mom asked again if he was ready to get dentures. Dad couldn't see why, since the only things he wasn't eating was nuts. He decided to forgo dentures. As the doctor had said, his health increased by leaps & bounds.

I didn't realize just how tough his gums had become. I was laying on the couch, with my feet on his lap. I was lazily wiggling my big toe. He reached out & grabbed it,playfully. I looked at him and asked "What are you going to do, bite me?" With that he opened his mouth wide and chomped down on my toe. YEOW!!! I jumped off the couch and hopped around the living room while he laughed his head off.

Funny Little Films

2011-12-08T21:25:00.003-05:00

I spotted a couple of short films that were really funny and I thought I would share them with the few people who still stop by.

The Sock Monster

2011-12-07T21:57:00.003-05:00

Everyone knows that a sock monster lurks in every washing machine and dryer. How else can you explain all the mismatched socks in your drawer. Thanks to a courageous young man (my grandson), the world can finally see what this monster looks like. He snapped a quick shot off with his camera phone before it had a chance to flee.

I don't have a clue why his little sister has his socks. I wouldn't go near a 10 year old boy's socks. He sent this picture to me and wanted me to send it to one of the Cheezburger sites as "The Sock Monster". I wonder where he comes up with ideas like that?

Flashback Friday # 165

2011-12-02T05:04:00.000-05:00

Mom's Surgery

Hello again. It's good to see you again. Thanks for stopping by.

I've written by times about the tile factory that Mom worked at, and I worked at on the weekends. Mom had been there for many years. She had done every job there (in fact she was the 1st female forklift driver there). All the years in the dusty condition that was the tile factory took a toll on her.

She hadn't been feeling quite right for a while. She finally went to the doctor (nobody in my family likes to go to the doctor, we are generally forced).When he looked down her achy throat, he was puzzled at what he saw. Concerned too. He told Mom that he didn't like what he had seen and was referring her to a throat specialist. Going to a regular doctor was bad enough, she really didn't like the though of going to a specialist.

When the specialist examined her, he said that the many years of dust from the clay used to make the tile had irritated her throat, and she was currently at a pre-cancerous state. He said that if she didn't have surgery to remove part of her larynx, she could very easily go into full blown cancer. He wanted to schedule the surgery as soon as possible.

Mom felt she didn't have any other option, so she scheduled the surgery. After her surgery, she couldn't talk at all. She kept a notebook beside her as she lounged on the couch. Since this was work related, I assume she was off on Workman's Comp. Any time she wanted to ask or tell us something, she would wave her hands and then write down what she wanted.

While she was off, it was decided that we would take a road trip to go see Sir Gattabout down at Fort Bragg, North Carolina.Mom had gotten some of her voice back, but not much. While we were down there, we took Gattabout out to dinner at Sambo's. Mom decided to sing the Sambo's theme song while we were there. Out squeaked and squawked "It's just what the family ooordered, Sambo's". It sounded like a gangly young boy going through puberty.

Mom recovered, and went back to work. The company found her a job working in the office so she wouldn't be subject to the dust.

Whole Lot of Randomness Going On

2011-11-30T18:59:00.003-05:00

Things have been a bit loopey around here. Here are a few slices of randomness that struck a chord with me:

When Urban Meyer was with Florida, I couldn't stand him or his team. Now that he is wearing scarlet & gray, I support him and will cheer for his team. Go Bucks.

The Girl was putting together a LARGE floor puzzle of Winnie the Pooh & friends the other day. When she finished, she stood up to see it from above. When she did that, Sparky came over and stood on it. She put her hands on her hips and hollered "Parky, get outta my puzzle". Funny.

We started overtime yesterday (6AM-3PM) and got a $25 gift certificate from management for Christmas today. Usually this means pending lay-offs. I hope it isn't so.

The Boy told us the other day that when he gets cold, he can chatter his teeth. Not a big deal you say. He says he can chatter them to "The theme for Star Wars". Too funny.

I went to the dentist today (I really hate going to the dentist). I have a tooth that has been bothering me for a while. I prayed that he wouldn't have to pull it (he didn't have to, thank you LORD) He took x-rays, examined it and couldn't figure out why it was hurting. His helper explained that perhaps my tooth had developed a sensitivity. She asked if I used whitening toothpaste (which I do & have for some time). It seems that whitening toothpaste tends to make teeth sensitive. She gave me some new toothpaste to try and some sensitive toothpaste to rub in the area before bed. She feels that this should do the trick. I hope so because a trip to the dentist is traumatizing for me.

The Buckeyes beat Duke last night in the Big Ten/ACC Challenge tournament. Th folks at ESPN said it was the highest rated game ever broadcast during this tournament since it's inception. When you have #2 going against #3, people want to watch.

Flashback Friday # 164

2011-11-25T08:56:00.000-05:00

The Big PB&J Sandwich

Greetings, one & all. Thanks for taking a few moments out of this busy day to read my ramblings. Today, the subject is something, that anyone who knows me personally can attest, that is near & dear to me. Peanut butter & jelly sandwiches.

I have loved PB&J for as long as I can remember. Mom made the comment yesterday that she is amazed that I eat real food now. All I ever used to eat was PB&J sandwiches. No chili. No Spanish rice. No Sweet potato casserole, etc.

Every body can make a PB&J out of two slices of bread. Some only use one. I routinely used three. It was sort of a PB&J club sandwich of sorts. Once the two sliced sandwich is made, you put a coat of peanut butter on the top slice of bread, then jelly another slice. Viola, club sandwich. Dad even made a few of these for me.

You may think, what's the big deal about a sandwich with three slices of bread? That's not a big sandwich. Those triple deckers have nothing to do with the story today. The big PB&J sandwich had eight (count 'em eight) slices of bread. It was a feat of modern engineering.

It's hard enough to make the three slice sandwich since the peanut butter tends to make the jelly slice under it slide. Imagine doing it five more times. Just for fun, take a loaf of bread, and count how high that sandwich would be. Then try to imagine PB&J between each slice. Wowsa.

You may think, "Sure, you can build a monstrosity like that, but how could anyone eat it?" I was a teen-age boy at the time. There is a reason they have the reputation of being eating machines. Eat it I did, all by my self. Sure, it was messy, but it sure was good.

I haven't done anything like this since I've been married. When you're a kid, you don't ponder the grocery bill. Now that the grocery bill is mine, I have a totally different outlook.

Check

2011-11-23T22:21:00.000-05:00

I received a text from my wife while at work. She had "The Boy" & "The Girl" (they had spent the night) all day. She stated that "The Boy" couldn't wait for me to come home because he wanted to play a game of chess with me.

I have several chess sets, including one with carved marble pieces. "The Boy" got a set of chess pieces from my mom a couple of weeks ago. He has played himself several times. He loves my marble set. It was set up when I got home.

It has been a loooong time since I played. It showed The second piece of mine that he took was my Queen. That in it's self is bad. The fact that he took it with a pawn, was even worse.

I must admit, he had me sweating for most of the game. For a 10 yr. old, he played a pretty good game. When he made a mistake near the end of the game, I got back into the game by removing his Queen from the board. I think this rattled him because it wasn't much later that he found himself in checkmate. I congratulated him on a game well played. I've got a feeling that it won't be long before he's going to beat me.

It Must Be Monday.

2011-11-21T22:16:00.003-05:00

Mondays are not nice. I think Mondays think of ways to be mean to you. I found out just how true that was today (Which by the way is Monday). As I was leaving for work, I opened the door to my truck and discovered something bad. I had forgotten to roll up my window from Saturday.

I was hot & sweaty from shovelling mulch so I rolled my window down on the way home. I backed the truck in the driveway to make it easier to unload the mulch. With the truck backed in, the driver's window faced away from the house. Saturday night, it began to rain. It rained all day Sunday. My seat was soaked. Fortunately, I had an extra jacket in the truck that I could sit on to avoid looking like I peed my pants.

When I got to work, I sent a text to my wife to tell her what I had done. She asked if I wanted her to bring me some dry pants. I told her that I wasn't too bad. It was really nice of her to be willing to drive out to my work to bring me dry clothes, especially since she had just woke up 20 minutes before.

Flashback Friday # 163

2011-11-18T05:44:00.000-05:00

Sheep

A warm welcome to those who have stumbled upon my ramblings.

Anyone who has read these posts for some time, knows that my paternal grandmother lived in Westerville, OH. She didn't live right in it, but on the outskirts. This meant that there were some things nearby that you wouldn't find in many cities. Sheep.

Her across the street neighbor, Mr. Belvedere, owned the property beside her. On the large section in front was a plot that he rented to grandma to put in a garden. I can remember watching her push a hand plow to break up the soil. As long as she was able, she always put in a large garden, and canned the harvest thereof.

On the large section of this land stood a small enclosure that housed a couple dozen sheep. Mr. Belvedre would shear the sheep and sell the wool. He always talked very low, whether it was to people or sheep. Those sheep knew his voice.

One day, I was outside dumping the table scraps into the compost pile. There were a few things that didn't want to come out of the pan, so I banged it on the nearby swing set. Suddenly the whole flock of sheep came running toward the shelter. I thought that was really bizarre.

The next day, I took a stick and hit the swing set a couple of times. The sheep came running. After a bit, they went back into the field. I banged on the swing set. The sheep came running. That was really cool.

I guess Mr. Belvedere saw what I had done and called Grandma. She told me not to tease the sheep. I couldn't figure out how I was teasing the sheep. I didn't ask about it, I just said OK.

Later that day, I was outside and I heard what sounded like someone banging a couple of pans together. I looked over toward the noise to see Mr. Belvedere walking to the sheep enclosure and all the sheep running toward him. When he banged the pans together, the sheep knew it was time to eat. That's why they ran to the enclosure when I banged on the swing set.

A few days later, Grandma's tiny, little dog, Jock, was into the sheep pasture eating sheep poop. I stood at the fence and hollered for him. Then I heard my name being called. Grandma wanted to know what I was doing at the fence. I told her that I was trying to keep Jock from eating sheep poop. She thought I was teasing the sheep again. She was planning to scold me for that.

One day, Ricky (one of the kids that helped to dig the cave), convinced me to sneak into the pasture and chase the sheep. It was great fun until Mr. Belvedere saw us and started hollering at us. We hightailed it to the back of the pasture and cut through the woods to the back of Ricky's house. I got in some big trouble for that and had to apologize to Mr. Belvedere and promise to leave his sheep alone.

Many years after Mr. Belvedere passed, his wife sold their house to the neighboring Catholic church/school. She had a house built where the sheepfold once stood. She lived there until she also passed.

Five FPs in a week

2011-11-15T22:30:00.006-05:00

You may ask "What in the world is an FP?" It is when a funny picture that you submitted makes the "Front Page" of one of the Cheezburger sites. I hadn't had one in a while, so they caught me off guard. The first on hit on the 9th. It was on "Historic LOLs", a site in which you caption pictures of days gone by. This is the picture:

The next came on 12th on "I Has A Hotdog", a site in which you caption pictures of dogs. Here is that picture:

That picture, by the way, was the 50th FP that I have created.
The next FP came the following day on "Derp", which is a site that captions people & animals making strange faces. Here is that pic:

My 4th FP came yesterday on "I Can Has Cheezburger", a site that captions pictures of cats. I've had great response to this one:

This is where the post was going to stop until I checked my site to get the pictures and found out that this picture made FP tonight on ROFL RAZZI a site that lets you caption celebrity pictures. Something tells me that it's not going to be a big hit among "Twilight" fans. Here it is:

*************UPDATE**********

The morning after I published this post, a sixth FP of the week showed up on Historic LOLs. Six in one week. Wow. Here is the other FP pic:

Signs

2011-11-13T22:01:00.003-05:00

I LOVE funny signs. I spotted a couple recently. The first one was created by my grandson, "The Boy". I found it when I came home from work Friday. He taped it to the bathroom door.

I spotted this one today a a large steakhouse chain which specializes in buffet dining. They hadn't taken down ALL the signs from breakfast. They missed this one. After I took the picture, someone realized they missed it and took it down.
I don't see anything in this picture that I would want to put butter & syrup on.

Flashback Friday # 162

2011-11-11T05:48:00.000-05:00

The Happy Meal

Hello, I'm glad that you stopped back in for another helping of yesteryear. Pull up a chair and get comfortable.

When I was younger, McDonald's was an inexpensive place to take your kids to eat. I can remember when you could get a hamburger, regular fries, and a regular soft drink for less than a dollar (99 cents to be exact). In the early 70's they had a venerable plethora of characters who lived in McDonaldland. There was Mayor McCheese, Big Mac (the cop), Captain Crook (the pirate), The Professor (who invented gadgets to create the food items), Hamburgular, Grimace, and of course, Ronald McDonald himself.

In the mid 70's, due to a lawsuit by Sid & Marty Krofft (makers of H.R. Puffenstuff and other Saturday morning offerings) the majority of those characters went by the wayside. If you didn't have cartoon characters to interest kids, what else could you do?

In 1979 (my Freshman year) McDonald's introduced "The Happy Meal". It involved a hamburger or cheeseburger (chicken nuggets hadn't been invented yet), regular fries, a packet of McDonaldland cookies & a regular soft drink (when I worked for McDonald's we were told NEVER to call them "small" because McDonald's doesn't have a small anything). This was packaged in a colorful box with games and activities printed on it. It was a monster smash, dynamite hit. The Star Trek Movie that came out later that year was the first movie-themed Happy Meal.

Some people think McDonalds invented the idea of giving toys away in their children's meals. I remember being about 10 or so and getting a kid's meal at BBF (Borden Burger Foods). One of their kid's meals was called "Drum & Fife" and it consisted of a chicken drumstick, french fries, a soft drink and a toy. I remember getting a cowboy figure. I also remember getting something at Burger Chef, but I don't remember what it was.

What has been your favorite meal associated prize?

Now You See Them, Now You Don't

2011-11-08T17:56:00.003-05:00

Yesterday, since I didn't go to work because of a worker's comp hearing, I was here when the sucker truck came by. It is amazing how fast your leaves disappear. Here is the before picture:

And here is the after picture:
All this was done in less 10 minutes. It took me that long to get the rakes, leaf blower, and extension cord out.

Flashback Friday # 161

2011-11-04T05:58:00.000-04:00

CB Radios

Hello, It's nice to see you again (even if I really can't because you are looking at you computer screen and I am probably doing something else while you are reading this). Are you ready to look back at people you don't know and places that you've never been? Good. Let's get started.

One of the big fads of the late 70's-early 80's was CB radios. In reality it really wasn't a fad because it was actually useful, unlike pet rocks, mood rings and streaking. A CB radio was your "cell phone" when travelling. You could converse with those who just came from where you were going to check weather, traffic and the location of Highway Patrol vehicles.

Dad jumped into this with both feet. He had a CB in all of our vehicles. Dad's friend who had bought our pool table told Dad about a CB Radio club that he had joined. I need to mention that this friend was a truck driver. Dad had to join too. He also got Mom to sign up. Other than meeting and eating the main thing this club did was to man what was called a "coffee break". You've probably seen the trailers at freeway rest stops that offer coffee, lemonade and snacks to truck drivers. That's what a "coffee break" was. If a driver was getting tired, he could pull in and get a cup of coffee & some conversation.

I mentioned previously that CBs were the cell phones of their day. One of the big differences was you had to have a license to operate a CB. Each license came with call letters. Dad's call letters were KBE-3628. It's funny, I can remember this, but I have to ask my wife what her phone number is (it's speed dial #2 on my phone).

Everyone also had a "handle", or nickname to be known by. Dad's was "Short Stick" (I am not making this up). Mom's was "Brown Eyes". They even had CB club jackets with these names monogrammed on them.It was common for someone to have the same handle that you had. Generally, if someone asked if I was So & So from Whatever City I would come up with a new handle.Now I am known as Sir Nottaguy-Imadad. Back the I was PB Kid. PB Kid was the one I had longest. I've never met another Sir Nottaguy-Imadad.

My Cheezpeeps

2011-11-01T22:01:00.002-04:00

I got some nice gift LOLs from my cheezpeeps over at the Cheezburger Network.

One Man's Trash Is Another Man's Treasure

2011-10-28T21:37:00.008-04:00

Thursday night as we were coming home, we spotted something sitting out waiting to be hauled away in the trash. I got into my truck and drove drown the street. I tossed it and it's companion into the bed of my truck. What may this item be?

Yes, It was a rocking horse. It was manufactured by Today's Kids (who are no longer in business). It needs some replacement parts, but they have already been purchased online (Radio Flyer makes a similar horse that has compatible parts).

"The Girl" has had a great time with it.

It even became a tent when "the horsie got tired". We knew she was tired when she said "My get up is gone". LOL

The other item that I picked up with it was a Little Tykes car. That is outside, and will stay out there. When you've got grand kids, you just can't pass a deal like that up. Who doesn't like free?

Flashback Friday # 160

2011-10-28T05:49:00.001-04:00

Memories of Halloweens Past

Welcome one & all. I'm so glad you could stop by long enough to hop back into the past with me. Sorry my regular "Flashback Friday" picture is missing. Blogger was having issues when I wrote this.

When I look at Halloween today, I see an over commercialized holiday where the grown ups like to play dress up more than the kids do. It has become a multi-billion dollar industry. It wasn't like that so much when I was a kid. Here are some of the things I remember.

There was nothing like getting a home-made popcorn ball when you were trick-or-treating. Mom made some of the best I've ever tasted. She would also color them various colors to enhance their appearance. These were made with popcorn, Karo syrup, food coloring and some magic ingredients. They were formed by hand and wrapped in plastic wrap. Nothing pre-packaged about them.

Apples also found their way into many-a-bag. They weren't pre-packaged either. I remember being about six when I first heard stories about sickos putting needles & razor blades in apples. We always had to examine then closely before we ate them.

Loose candy and cookies were staples for a couple of our neighbors. One lady bought bags of gumballs and dumped them into a bowl. You were then allowed to reach in and grab a handful. Orange slices & spearmint leaves also were given out. Everyone liked getting chocolate chip & peanut butter cookies. None of it individually wrapped.

The costumes were much simpler too. Most of the time you could find the makings of a hobo costume from the stuff in the rag bag. Not many mothers liked you cutting holes in their sheets, so you would pin them around your neck and cover your face & hair with powder. The scariest costumes back then were witches & devils. I never had too many store bought costumes. They were different back then too. A Batman of Bozo costume consisted of a hard plastic mask that looked like the character, but the outfit that went with it had a picture of the character, not a likeness of the character's outfit like they have today.

If you didn't get a treat, the trick you played was soaping people's windows. Once my brother snagged a bar of soap to take with him, without looking at which bar he grabbed. When he was going to use it, he discovered that he had grabbed Dad's bar of "Lava". It went right back into his pocket, and he sneaked it back into the bathroom without it being missed. You just didn't mess with Dad's soap. The really nasty kids didn't use soap, they used wax or paraffin.

I miss the old days. Nowadays, I can't wait for Halloween to be over. The emphasis on the ghoulish side of it makes my skin crawl. It defiantly has lost it's innocence.

Autumn Has Fallen Upon Us.

2011-10-26T07:10:00.012-04:00

Here in Ohio, It is an annual tradition that the leaves fall from the trees. With the large amount of rain that we have had lately, they have come down even faster.

Since Monday was relatively nice, I took "The Ogre's" kids outside to help me get the leaves piled up.

"The Boy" was thrilled that I let him learn how to use the leaf blower. Usually he winds up with a rake. I felt a little like Tom Sawyer while watching him move the piles of leaves.

"The Girl" helped out too. She would take handfuls of leaves and pile them on the sidewalk for her brother to scoot toward the road.

She had a real good pile going until her brother came by with the leaf blower.

Where did they go?

She had to begin another pile. This time her brother didn't wait until her back was turned to take her leaves. The leaf blower startled her and she turned to run from it,only to run into the shepherd's hook directly behind her.

She also "helped" by pulling all my extention cord out of the crate that houses it. What a tangled mess it became. I will have to stretch it around the house to untangle it.

By the time supper was ready, we had cleared out the front yard and part of the driveway. Don't even ask about the back yard. I know there's grass back there somewhere, but right now, I can't see it.

Don't I Wish

2011-10-24T05:49:00.002-04:00

Finally, A car that I can afford. I wonder what the payment options are?

Strange Packaging

2011-10-22T17:29:00.001-04:00

My wife bought a new package of socks (actually they are footies) today. The bag that they came in was resealable (like a ziploc baggie). Why is this? Does it keep the socks fresher? If you don't use all the socks at one time, can you keep the other fresh by putting them back in the bag? Does the bag keep moisture out (even worse, keep moisture in)?

Flashback Friday # 159

2011-10-21T05:03:00.000-04:00

The Day I Was A Professional Boxer

Greetings to one & all (yes, I'm talking to both of you). This is a very exciting post for me. It just happens to be the 500th post of this blog. Did you think I would hang in there this long? Like a bad penny, you just can't get rid of me.

Anyway, There was a time in my life when I was a professional boxer. It only lasted for one day, because I wasn't very good at it. The other guys who I was boxing with,beat me soundly.

What was nice about this is that I left the building unscathed. How can that be?

The tile company that Mom worked for (see here & here) had a very large order for a Prince in Abu Duabi (the capital city of The United Arab Emirates). They were working three shifts to produce the tile that would go into his palace. Once the tile was finished, how was it shipped? That's right, you had to box it first. On this day, I was going to box tile. Since I was getting paid for it, that made me a professional boxer.

Back then, I made $3 an hour when I worked for Mom's company. As a boxer, you got 50 cents per box completed. A good boxer could do 10 boxes per hour (that's $5 an hour for those who have shaky math skills). The other two boxers were good boxers and routinely did 10 per hour. I wasn't that good. I had a fall back plan in place. I couldn't make less than $3 an hour even if I didn't do six boxes an hour.

When you boxed tile, you had to stand up a piece of tile, then put in a cardboard divider. A piece of tile, a piece of cardboard. You had to wear gloves. Since the tile was hand made, there were imperfections that could leave a sliver or a sharp edge. The imperfections were part of the charm. It proved that it wasn't mass produced, but genuinely hand made. During the process, some of the tile actually had a thumbprint that mashed a corner. People loved this.

Anyway, getting back to my narrative. I really stank at boxing tile. I could never get more than six per hour. I had hoped that I could pick up a few extra bucks by being fast. I would have made the same amount sweeping the floor or putting up shelves. From then on, I left the boxing to the real professionals.

Duct Tape Really Does Fix Everything.

2011-10-18T21:05:00.003-04:00

Tonight, when I went to the nursing home to pick up my MIL's laundry, we were talking about fixing something. She said she had some duct tape that we could use to fix it with. I looked at her and asked why she would need duct tape in the nursing home. "Oh, I can fix lots of things with it" she said She then jumped subjects(which I'm prone to do, also)and said "I've recently had a diarrhea..." I looked at her aghast and asked "You didn't use duct tape to fix that, did you?" She looked at me odd,then said "Heavens no."

I thought for a moment that she had come up with a medical breakthrough.

Funny Radio Story

2011-10-17T21:55:00.003-04:00

I heard a story on the radio recently that cracked me up. It seems there were some guys who were drinking and decided to play a game. Any time Al K. Hall is invited to a party, you can expect something stupid to happen.

The game involved seeing what could fit over your head. One guy decided to try a plastic toilet seat. Since his head made it through, he decided to see how far down he could take it over the rest of his body. The toilet seat got stuck around his middle. Try as they might, that toilet seat wasn't going to come off. They decided to call the fire department for help. They were told to come down to the station and the firemen would see what they could do.

They eventually got the seat off. The man's name was withheld for privacy sake (his friend knew who he was, that was bad enough). The Fire Chief made the statement (and I'm not making this up0 "The man was a bit flushed when he got here. He was relieved that we could get the toilet seat off".

Am I the only one who finds the Fire Chief's statement an absolute hoot? Anyone with the wit to put "flushed & "relieved" in a statement like that is OK in my book. That's thinking fast.

Flashback Friday # 158

2011-10-14T05:56:00.000-04:00

We Salute You. Nanu Nanu.

Hello again. Once again we stroll down the garden path to what once was.

When I was a freshman in High School, a TV show came on that quickly became a favorite in our house. If you haven't guess by the title, it was Mork & Mindy starring Robin Williams & Pam Dawber. It was about an alien (Williams) who comes to Earth to observe humans. He is discovered by Mindy (Dawber) who realizes he is an alien and tries her best to hide him. I remember well watching the first episode with Mom. The zaniness was so intense I thought Mom would wet herself from laughing so much.

You notice that I said I watched the first episode with Mom. Why didn't Dad watch it? He wasn't quite the slave to the TV as we were. He was over at his best friend's house (that would be Chuck),helping him with a remodeling project.

When Dad got home, the episode was over and we were still trying to catch our breath. When Dad walked in, Mom looked at me and smiled really big. I knew exactly what she was thinking. Dad shut the door, turned around and was greeted by his wife & son in a most peculiar way. We both stood, looked at Dad, and said in unison "We salute you. Nanu Nanu. " while wiggling our ears with our hands.

Dad stopped in his tracks. He had the most puzzled look on his face. He must have thought we were nuts. He said "What was that all about?" Mom & I laughed and told him about the show we had just watched. I'm not sure he really believed what we had told him about the show.

The following week, he made sure he was home to see if this new show or his family was crazy. I'm not sure he caught all the sight & verbal gags that Mork tossed out to his audience, but he thought it was funny anyway. It became a staple in our TV viewing routine.

I have season one on DVD (I got it free from a Pepsi promotion a couple years ago). I have a feeling that watching "The Boy's" reaction to this show will be just as funny as the show itself.

You can see the opening credits here.

Usually Kids Are Good Judges Of Character

2011-10-13T21:42:00.003-04:00

Today, I was upstairs in the office getting something for a co-worker. I happened to be over by the receptionist when one of the 2nd shift employees came in to pick up his paycheck. He had his little girl with him. She looked to be about two.

The receptionist said "Hi" to her. The Little girl just looked bewildered. When she saw me she smiled, waved and said "Hi. Hi." I smiled back and said "Hi". The receptionist asked why the girl didn't say Hi to her. I told her that she looked mean. Just as I was going to say "Kids can tell if someone is nice", one of the upper management walked by. The little girl saw him and said "Hi".

So much for that idea.

LOL # 1000

2011-10-09T21:35:00.004-04:00

I was checking out some stuff on my Cheezburger profile when I notice something. I have made over 1000 LOLs on the site. I counted backwards and discovered that this one was #1000.

I also was invited to be a part of a beta test that Cheezburger is doing by creating a site out of stuff that I had saved. You can check out my site here. If you need a laugh, it's the place to go.

Flashback Friday # 157

2011-10-07T05:04:00.001-04:00

You can't run from the authorities

Greeting to all and welcome back to those who have ventured here before. In recent posts I've told how my Freshman year of High School was tough. It wasn't as tough for me as it was for one of my friends.

I first met "Ronald" in 7th grade. He didn't like to go by Ron, it was Ronald. We has similar interests. We disliked the same people. We even bore a bit of resemblance to each other (we both were "fat boys"). We got along well in Jr. High, but during the summer between 8th & 9th grade, something about him changed.

Seeing that I missed the first seven days of school, I lost touch with him since he wasn't in any of my classes. When I would see him in the hall, and say "Hi", he wouldn't acknowledge me. It was strange. I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong.

One day, during one of my classes, a classmate came back from the restroom with some huge news. As she was walking down the hall, she saw Ronald run past the intersecting hall. Right behind him was Principal Tenpins and a county Sheriff's Deputy. As she got to the intersection, the Deputy tackled Ronald, cuffed hm & lead him away. My classmate hurried to the restroom so nobody could see that she had seen what happened since the Principal & the Deputy were leading Ronald out to the cruiser.

We learned later that Ronald had been under surveillance, and had, in his possession when arrested, 17 marijuana cigarettes. From what we heard, he was planning to sell them at school. That was the last day that Ronald attended my school.I don't know if he wound up in juvenile detention or if his folks bailed him out, lawyered up and had a go at it. I've never seen him since 9th grade.

I don't know what he got into that summer or who he was hanging with. Whatever it was, it was bad news.

Fun Times With 'The Girl"

2011-10-06T21:30:00.004-04:00

Last Thursday, "The Boy" had his first band lesson as part of 5th grade band. Lady Nottaguy-TYG (aka Nana) accompanied him to practice in the High School (with Lady Lemon & The Ogre's 5th grade/Middle School band director). I got to keep an eye on "The Girl" outside.

When you're 2 1/2, the world is a mighty big place and there's still lots to learn. We started off walking along the parking lot. She noticed some dandelions in the grass and had to pick them. We then went on a concerted hunt for more.

I sent this picture to her Momma (aka "The Ogre") and her Momma sent back the text "Momma had a baby and it's head popped off". I had to show her how that was done. She laughed and said "Agin". So I did it again and again. I taught her the song:

Since we had popped all the yellow dandelions we found, she found some white fuzzy ones and blew the seeds into the air. She also waved them around to send the seeds flying. During this time, she learned a valuable lesson, Don't blow dandelions against the wind. She had some of the seeds fly back into her mouth and she was most displeased. "Uck, she says.

We then wandered around and came to a section of chain link fence. She had the best time passing leaves and sticks through the fence to me. Not far from there was a puddle that we took turns tossing stick & rocks in. While doing this, she found a rock that became "her baby" and she cradled it as we walked back toward the school. While we were waiting for "The Boy" & Nana to come out, she made blankies for her baby out of leaves while I sat nearby on a bench.

Just as we all were heading to the car, it began it rain. I'm glad I had a chance to have some outside time with her before the rains set in.

I knew what it was and my wife knew what it was...

2011-10-04T20:45:00.002-04:00

Tonight, "The Boy" was creating a new type of animal that is amphibious and can also live in extreme desert climates. In the car, he was asking our help to come up with a name for it. In order to properly name it, we had to know a little more about it. This conversation ensued:

The Boy: It's about the size of a rhinoceros.

Me: Well, that shoots down the idea of arid skimmer. Rhinos don't skim anything.

Wife: The way you were describing it, i didn't think it was that big.

The Boy: Well, it perhaps isn't that big. It could be smaller.

Me: Is it bigger than a bread box?

The Boy: Yes, At least the body without the legs...Wait, What's a bread box? I've never seen bread come in a box before, only bags.

With that, my wife explains what a bread box is while I try to keep the car on the road while snuffling guffaws.

Flashback Friday # 156

2011-09-30T05:31:00.000-04:00

The Early Show

Greetings one & all. As I type this, I can hear the rain falling outside. What can you do when it's raining. We watched TV. A lot. One of the shows that was on most days was The Early Show hosted by Flippo the Clown.

Most channels had The Late Show, which ran old movies. The Early Show did the same thing, only it was intended for those who didn't stay up until late o'clock.We loved old movies in our house.

Flippo started doing The Early Show in 1953. I don't remember him back then (probably since I was born in 1963). All throughout my school years, Flippo was there to greet me when I came home from school. I would usually get home about 3:45 and he came on at 4:00. You never had to worry whether the movie would be "questionable". Everybody could watch without a problem.

He was given free reign to be as silly as he pleased during his "comedic interludes" and during his sales pitches. It's been over 30 years, but I still came remember his adds for Whistle Stop Pop Shop, Dan Durthdaler's Lowrey Genie Organ dealership, Frostie Rootbeer and Winnebago (I always thought he was talking about "win a bago"). My favorite comedy routine deals with him opening the refrigerator and having it make snide remarks about his weight.

On the days when he was on vacation, Fritz the Night Owl would fill in for him. He retired in 1983, a year after I graduated from High School. He donated his costume to the Ohio Historical Society after his retirement. We saw it on a trip we took there and took a picture of it.

You can find more information about Flippo at his biography page.

Nobody In Either City Knew the Heimlich Maneuver

2011-09-29T06:06:00.002-04:00

Going into September, the Atlanta Braves and the Boston Red Sox held commanding leads in the wild card race in each division of MLB. Throughout the month of September, they were absolutely putrid. Last night, both teams choked to death.

Going into last night's game, both teams were tied in the wild card race. The Braves were up by 8 1/2 games on the Cardinals on September 6. The Red Sox lead the Rays by 9 on September 3. They both needed a win. Both lost.

The Red Sox were 76-0 after leading in the 8th inning this year. Their closer not only blew the save, but lost the game. The Rays were down 7-0 in the 5th, tie the score in the 9th, and win it it in 12th with a home run.

The Cardinals soundly thumped the Astros while The Braves were leading the Phillies in the 9th. A Braves win forces a one game play-off. The Phillies made a comeback and beat the Braves in 13 innings.

Epic historic choking.

He REALLY Doesn't Like It.

2011-09-24T13:07:00.003-04:00

Sparky, the wonder dragon & protector of the realm, really has a dislike for remote controlled cars. We think it had something to do with his past, before we got him. When Ninja John lived here, and would drive his RC car around, Sparky would pick it up with his teeth & flip it over. Mine is too big for him to do that. He just barks like crazy at it.

Flashback Friday # 155

2011-09-23T05:03:00.000-04:00

That didn't come out quite right.

Welcome to all who have ventured this way on the cyberpath. If you've accidentally stumbled upon these ramblings, I'll try not to rot your mind too much. If you came here on purpose, you get what's coming to you.

Have you ever tried to express an idea, and by the time it has gotten tangled around your eye teeth, It has become something completely different? The very first time that I spoke in Student Council was just such a time.

Being a Freshman, meant that you were to be seen & not heard. Nobody cared what you thought or how you felt about something. If you didn't like something, too bad. I think you're beginning to get the picture.

One of the things that several of the Seniors wished to get changed was the part of our dress code that banned facial hair. No mustaches, beards or long sideburns were allowed. Facial hair was considered a distraction. If you drew a line from the corner of your mouth to your ear, your sideburns had to stay on the north side of that line. No hair was to be past the shirt collar either. Our school was established in the 60's so I assume the dress code attempted to get the hippies to conform.

But I digress. Since several of the Seniors wanted this rule changed, the created a petition for student body members to sign. They acquired several hundred signatures. It was brought up in the Student Council meting and a delegation was to be selected to approach the Principal with the petition & dress code changes.

The Student council advisor was an older teacher who taught journalism, typing & IOE (Inner Office Experience). The Student Council meetings were held in her IOE room. It looked similar to an old typing pool that you would see on TV in the 70's. She asked several of the Seniors why they wished to change the rule. Some said it was outdated, while others said it hindered their expression of who they were. She then asked ME what I thought of the issue. This caught me completely flatfooted. (Read the third paragraph again).

I tried to express something to the effect that if you looked mature, you might act mature. What came out was some kind of mishmash about your girlfriend dumping you for a guy who looked older. The Seniors roared and I was put on the committee to approach the Principal. This was the same Principal who didn't like me because of my brother.

The committee approached the Principal. He was given the petition. The Seniors gave their arguments. I was prompted to repeat the mishmash. The Principal basically said, in the nicest manner possible, FUGITUBOWTIT, AINTHAPPIN.

When I became a Senior, this issue came up again, but in a little bit of a different way. That's another post all together.

The Family That's Weird Together

2011-09-22T21:38:00.005-04:00

Everyone has some weird idiosyncrasies. Don't read this and say "I never do anything weird" because deep down, you know you do.

One of the weird things that is done around here is the tussle about who gets the little curlicue at the top of a new tub of margarine. A big production is made about it. I tease the Ogre all the time when I get it.

She sent me this picture the other day.

The message that accompanied it said "Oh I'll do it too!" It's fun being weird, especially when you know that it is being passed on.

Who would have thought?

2011-09-20T20:26:00.000-04:00

It looked like everyone in the NFC East was firmly set at quarterback except for one team. The Eagles had just signed Michael Vick to a HUGE contract. Tony Romo is a rising star & fan favorite in Dallas. Eli Manning signed a long term, large contract after his Super Bowl win. Only the Washington Redskins, with has-been Rex Grossman and never-been John Beck, were shaky at the quarterback position. Oh, how quickly things change.

Sunday, Vick received a concussion and Romo received fractured ribs & a punctured lung. On Monday Manning as booed in his home stadium on just the ninth play. In Washington, the redskins are 2-0 and at the top of the standings.

Flashback Friday # 154

2011-09-16T05:02:00.001-04:00

Venting

Welcome back to more minutia from the archives of my brain.

How do you let off steam? Are you a screamer? A thrower? Crawl into your shell? Assault people? When I was a young teen, I was quite the passive aggressive individual (still am, for the most part). I came up with a way to release aggression toward everyone I did liked without anyone knowing about it (almost).

My cousin Skeeter (one of Aunt Shelly's kids) and I were playing around with my cassette recorder one day. We had been discussing our mutual enemies at school. He grabbed the microphone and hollered out "(enemy's name here) eats piles of (use your imagination)." That started the ball rolling. Every slimebag we knew got pasted on that tape.

There were three things that were really nice about this. 1.Since we were up in my room, we had the privacy to include as many folks as we wanted. 2. My parents weren't there. Since Skeeter's vocabulary in public & private was saltier than mine. 3. Dad's friend Chuck had come over and was mowing our grass, further insulating our ventings from prying ears.

After we finished venting, we came up with several skits that we recorded. Some were from comedy records that I had (Cheech & Chong, Bill Cosby, Shel Silverstein) and some were just made up. We recorded these on battery power. By the time we got to the end of the tape, the batteries were pretty worn out. Playing it back using the power cord just made it all that much funnier because it sped everything up and made us sound like chipmunks. We titled the tape "The Nutsos".

Every time Skeeter was over after that, I have to get the tape out and play it.

Romance Advice

2011-09-14T17:05:00.004-04:00

Here is a video clip that had us laughing last night. I hope you like it as much as we did.

Never Forget

2011-09-11T08:06:00.002-04:00

Unless you were in a coma or living under a rock, you know exactly where you were 10 years ago today.

Flashback Friday # 153

2011-09-09T05:30:00.000-04:00

Smashmouth Football

Greetings one & all. Welcome back to the meanderings of my mind, where many times we stray from the beaten path.

One of the things that I really disliked about school was Phys Ed class (more about that later). Since it was Autumn, what do you play in gym class? Football, of course. Since the classes were co-ed, this was one time where the guys were separated from the girls, that way they wouldn't get hurt.

Out in the field beside the school, the guys went to one end, while the girls went to the other. Teams were chosen and we were to commence playing flag football. How does one consider that smashmouth football, you may ask? I will explain that soon enough.

Another reason that the girls weren't playing along side the guys was that the guys were playing shirts vs skins. I hated shirts vs skins. The colored flags didn't differentiate the teams enough (what was strange is that it was differential enough for the girls).I was fortunate that the other team had more "fat boys" on it, therefore it had to be skins.

Our class was big enough that each team had 10 guys on it. Each side could very nearly field an entire offense or defensive unit. On offense, I was a running back, on defense, a linebacker. During kickoffs I was a kamikaze forward to block or tackle as needed.

During one of the kickoffs, our kicker boomed a huge kick. It was a beauty. A thing to behold. It isn't a good idea to watch a kick sailing through the air while running down the field as fast as you can. In the moment that I took my eyes off the field to follow the flight of the ball, disaster struck. One of the guys on the other team also took a gander at the beautiful kick, and stopped to see who would field it. The very moment that he stopped is the very moment the I looked up at the kick.

WHAM! I ran into his back at full speed. I didn't even see him when I hit him. All I saw were stars. The collision sent both of us sprawling. Other than being shaken up from having a tank steamroll into him, he was OK. I, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. My mouth was smashed into the back of his head (see I told you that I would explain the title). My lips were pulverized and blood flowed fast & furious.

Since my parents worked in Westerville & weren't able to come to my aid, we had arranged with a neighbor, who just happened to be a nurse, to be my emergency pick-up if had to leave school due to sickness or injury. When she got there, the school nurse had stopped most of the blood flow with cold compresses. She took a look at what used to be my lips and determined that stitches wouldn't be necessary, but it would be a good idea if I went home & took it easy the rest of the day. I would find out later that it wouldn't be the only time that I got hurt in High School gym class.

The Muppets Bohemian Rhapsody

2011-09-07T22:55:00.001-04:00

As a huge fan of the Muppets, I find this video hilarious.

Posting Has Been Light This Week

2011-09-03T09:40:00.002-04:00

I haven't had much time to post this week. After I got home from my eight hour job, I got cleaned up and went to the church to drive the van down to The Millersport Sweetcorn Festival. Some folks can spend the four days down at our church campgrounds to work the festival. Many have to work, then drive down to work some more. We've been doing this for over 20 years. It's a great fundraiser.

Here is something that most people who have never seen, find quite fainting. The machine that we use to husk the corn is an antique and must have all replacement parts custom made for it. Corn is placed on a conveyor belt at the top,

and comes out at the bottom.

As long as the corn isn't loaded too quickly, the husker does an excellent job. Unfortunately, most times we have it cranked out to max and have to take some of the husks off by hand. It sure beats husking it all by hand. One year, the husker broke down. For two days, we husked all the corn by hand. I hope to never do that again.

Flashback Friday # 152

2011-09-02T23:59:00.000-04:00

The Ultimatum

Greeting to one & all. Welcome back.

In several previous posts I have mentioned the many trips to Westerville. My Grandparents lived there and both of my parents worked there. At least for now.

Dad worked at a lumberyard. He had worked there for many years. The problem with that is he didn't make a whole lot there. He generally spent more than what he made. Mom wasn't real happy. Something had to change.

One day, after a payday, she looked at the amount of his check and told him that he was going to have to find a new job. Dad didn't want to. He liked working at the lumberyard. Mom put her foot down. Either he left his job or she was leaving him. She said that with his skills, he could be making significantly more than he was making. She said his bosses knew they were taking advantage of him. A shipment of panels was worth more than a couple of his weekly paychecks.

Reluctantly, Dad turned in his two week notice. He found a job working as a sub-contractor building new homes in Westerville. There will be future posts about his employment there because he hired me as a sub-sub-contractor. The lumberyard closed within a year of Dad quitting. Coincidence?

2011 Church League Fantasy Draft

2011-08-28T07:56:00.003-04:00

Friday night, the guys at church got together to hold the 4th annual Punt, Pass & Praise Fantasy Football draft. For the second year in a row, everyone was present. If some one isn't present, their players are picked proxy, and some one winds up with players they don't want.

During the draft, there were some funny things said:

(Upon seeing that Cleveland wasn't among the top 15 team defenses that were listed on our draft sheet) "I noticed that the Browns defense is conspicuously missing from the list" "I noticed that it is conspicuously missing from the field. Bwhaaa."

"We will finish the draft tomorrow after _____ makes his pick."

"In the time it took you to make that pick, that league over there conducted it's entire draft"

"I don't think those who brought their laptops are really researching player information. They're probably surfing porn between picks."

"(Player's name) is off the board." "Was he really even on it. Hahaha."

"Dude, you've drafted three quarterbacks. Are you rooting for an injury?"

We had a fun time. We went to Frozen Rock Ice Cream afterward. I am way too spoiled by our local ice cream shop. The portions are MUCH bigger for half the price.

Flashback Friday # 151

2011-08-26T05:12:00.000-04:00

The Cave

Welcome back all. Glad to see you again. Where I lived, there were no caves around (except ones that had already become tourist attractions). We decided on day to create our own.

How does one create a cave? If you have excavating equipment, it's easy. Being young teens, we didn't have anything like that, but we had Mother Nature give us a hand.

During one of my many trips to Westerville, One of my friends there, Ricky, spotted a tree near the edge of a hill at the very back of the property owned by the Catholic school that was just up the street from Grandma's. Where we were heading wasn't up the street, it was almost directly across from Grandma's house, about 3/4 of a mile away.

The Catholic school was planning to do some expansion, so they had begun to excavate the area we were heading for. The excavation, plus erosion had laid bare about 1/3 of the tree roots from the tree at the top of the hill. The dirt beneath the tree was soft, so we were able to scoop out a section about four feet deep and big enough to fit me, Ricky, and Ricky's sister in. We also took some rather large rocks up with us so if anyone tried to invade our hideout, we could roll the rocks down on them. It was really a cool cave.

Being young & foolish, we didn't think about the danger we were putting ourselves in. Here we were sitting under a tree that has been undermined. It's root system was the only thing holding it up. We played back there for several hours before we had to head for home.

The next time I was in Westerville, I went back to check out the cave. It was gone. Due to the fact that it was undermined, and no longer had a foundation, the first strong wind that came by toppled it over. Where the tree used to stand was a gouge in the hill that looked like someone had taken a bite out of it. I had already had one tree nearly fall on me, I'm glad I wasn't around to make it two.

It Made My Day

2011-08-25T15:31:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, I pulled into the parking lot of "The Boy's" school. It was the first day of school and I was to pick him up since his mother, "The Ogre", had to work. In the parking lot there is a large bin for paper recycling. I had some newspapers & magazines that I had saved up for the first time I was by there. I make sure this is the only paper recycling bin that I use so my grandson's school will get the profits from it.

But I digress. Shortly after I placed my stuff in the bin, two boys came out of the school carrying a large tote of papers from their classroom. After they dumped the tote, one of the boys looked back into the bin. Spotting the two Sports Illustrated amongst the items that I had recycled, he leaned in to fish them out. His friend asked "What ARE you doing?" He responded "Cool! Look what I found!" as he smiled from ear to ear as he waved the magazines over his head.

It made my day to see the joy on his face that resulted from some recycled magazines.

Still have the touch

2011-08-22T17:50:00.003-04:00

I took this pic a whlie ago, but I haven't shared it with all my log peeps, just those related & in my phone.

It's one thing to be sneaky enough to put a sticker on some one's back. It even sneakier to come back later & take pictures of it.

Flashback Friday # 150

2011-08-19T05:51:00.000-04:00

Out On The Town

Welcome to all who have ventured onto this blogspot for this momentous occasion. Yes, It really is Flashback Friday number one hundred and fifty. Who would have thought that I would have stuck around for so long? I'm glad you've stuck with me.

Today, We are going to visit Sir Gattabout at Fort Bragg, NC. We had recently purchase a brand new Ford Pinto (what is it about us & bad cars?) and were raring to get some miles on it. We talked to Gattabout to see if he would be at base if we came to visit him. He said he would be there so we packed & got ready to make the 9 1/2 hour trip.

Dad had talked to his best friend, Chuck, about his youngest daughter making the trip with us. Carly was five. Gattabout was one of her favorites & she hadn't seen him for a very long time. Dad told her that we were going "for a drive". She had no idea that we were heading to North Carolina.

When we got there, Dad went into the HQ to find out where he could find Gattabout. Guess who was there. When Dad came out with Gattabout, Carly went nuts. We then took Gattabout out for supper. At supper, he asked where we were staying. Mom told him the name of the nearby motel. Gattabout made the suggestion that since one of his roommates was home on leave, I could stay at the barracks with him tonight. Mom & Dad agreed to it.

Once we dropped Mom, Dad & Carly off at the hotel, Gattabout got on the phone & called some of his friends. He told them that his little brother was in and he was going to show him a good time. Five of us squeezed into my parents new car and headed to Hay Street.

Hay Street was called "Little New York" on the base. If you wanted it, it could be found there. Disclaimer- I am not glorifying what happened that night. I'm simply telling it like it was. Looking back, I'm rather ashamed of what happened that night. You may want to stop reading now.

Oh, I see. You're either a glutton for punishment or like to see people get hung out to dry. Since you're still reading, don't say I didn't warn you. It gets ugly fast.

The first place we stopped was a bar. Topless bar. Gattabout bought me two beers there. Nobody asked to see any ID. Nobody asked for it at the next bar either. Or the next bar. Or the next. At one of these bars, a couple of Asian girls came over to our table. They told me I was cute & ran their fingers through my hair. They wanted me to buy them a Coke. Gattabout told them to scram. I found out later that they were prostitutes and "Buy me a Coke?" was code for solicitation.

After several bars, we went through a drive-thru and picked up a case of beer. Gattabout then drove to the drive-in movie. There was a double feature playing. We had missed the first movie on the billing. It was "Deep Throat". The other movie was an X-rated cowboy movie. After the movie (and after I had consumed somewhere between 12-15 beers), Gattabout headed for his barracks.

There were three guys who shared a room each guy had a corner with the bathroom in the other corner. I laid down on his buddy's bed, not feeling so well. That night, I had a dream that there was a train barreling full speed through my body. This train had hooks that extended from its sides that tore my vital organs out. Come morning, I was really feeling bad.

We were to meet Mom & Dad at the Restaurant next door to the hotel for breakfast. On the drive there, I asked Gattabout if he could stop at a gas station and get me some Alka-Seltzers. He told me I would be fine. I asked again, same reply. I then told him we HAD to stop for some Alka-Seltzer. When he pulled into the gas station parking lot, I open the door & exclaimed "Too late for Alka-Seltzer" and began purging the previous nights revelry. It felt like I puked for hours. We got a bottle of Pepto Bismol for me to nurse on.

When we got to the restaurant, Gattabout made up a story about going to the drive-in and getting chilled (it was fairly cool for NC at that time of the year). He told Mom that I must have gotten sick from the chilly, damp air. She bought it. Dad told me, much later, that he knew what was going on. While everyone else was eating French toast, waffles, eggs & bacon, I drank some hot tea & nursed the bottle of Pepto Bismol. I swore that day that I would never again drink alcoholic beverages, and I can say honestly, after nearly 33 years later, I have kept that promise to myself.

Funny Interveiw

2011-08-16T09:01:00.003-04:00

I spotted this video and thought I would share it with my readers. It is simply hilarious.

And Now For Something Completely Different

2011-08-13T19:54:00.007-04:00

The posts of this week haven"t been my normal cheery self due to unforseen circumstances. It's time to get back to normal. Today "The Girl" was a flower girl in her first wedding. Here are a few pics:

I also filmed the walk up the aisle with my phone. It took two shots since I can only take 30 second videos.

Flashback Friday # 149

2011-08-12T05:10:00.001-04:00

Bad Things Come In Threes

Welcome to those who have braved coming back. I think most of my readers have become addicted to Facebook, but that's OK. The main reason I blog is to leave behind my memories to my children. They don't know some of the stories that I have written here, neither does my wife. It's not that I'm trying to be secretive, it's just some of the stuff I didn't feel that they would be interested in, or they would find it boring. If that is the case here, they can always skip to the next post.

My Freshman year of High School was rough for me. You can tell this by reading Flashback Friday 136-Present. It was also rough on my brother, Sir Gattabout.

That year, while Gattabout was away doing field training & maneuvers for the US Army Corps of Engineers (he drove a road grader), we got the news that one of his friends from Westerville had died. Had this friend lived long enough, he would have become Gattabout's brother-in-law. He was fixing his car in his garage and it was cold outside, so the garage door was shut. When he finished working on the car, he started it to see how it sounded. The carbon monoxide fumes overcame him. Since Gattabout was on the field in training, he wasn't able to attend the funeral.

Shortly thereafter (a week to ten days) we got word once again that one of his Westerville friends had died. He had finished the training and hopped the first flight to Columbus. This friend was special. It was his best friend in Westerville. She also was the youngest sister of Dad's best friend, Chuck (who I mention here). She was on her way to work in her Volkswagen Beetle, leaned over to change the radio channel, and struck an oncoming car. Gattabout said he would have gone AWOL if he had to to be there. Fortunately, he was able to get leave. He was one of the pallbearers.

A few weeks later, once again we hear of one his Westerville friends passing away. Cars & telephone poles don't mix. Since Gattabout had just had a leave, he couldn't get one again so soon.

In the space of about five weeks, he lost three friends to automobile related accidents. He now wondered if he did the right thing in joining the Army. He was at Fort Bragg, North Carolina,so far away from those who he cared about. Later in life, he reflected that this time was one of the hardest for him. I wish all of my Flashback Friday posts were comical & high spirited, but I can't lie. My life had plenty of rough spots, of which, I have only begun to tell.

Gone On Ahead

2011-08-11T17:59:00.004-04:00

Frequent readers of the drivel that I post have noticed a lack of frivolity this week. In fact there's been a lack of posting this week too. Today, I called off work and attended the funeral of one of my brothers-in-the-Lord. Since I very rarely mention real names here, Ninja John has a wonderful post about him here.

It says a lot about a person when the funeral (which was held at our church) is standing-room-only. On the way to the grave site committal, the funeral procession stretched out for at least a mile. I counted him as a friend, and will miss the quiet strength and faithfulness that he brought with him everywhere he went.

Flashback Friday # 148

2011-08-05T05:30:00.000-04:00

There Goes My Car

Greetings, one & all. Are you ready for another thought inspiring tale of epic proportions? You're not? Good. There's nothing like that here.

Many moons ago we bought a brand new car. I've written about that car before. It was the same one that Mom crashed in the car wash. A shiny new copper colored Chevy Nova hatch back.

When this car stopped running, it was set in the side yard, because it was going to get fixed one of these days. I was told, since I was now 15, that once I turned 16, and got my drivers license, that would be my car.

We liked to play in the car and pretend to drive. We would be the good guys and be in hot pursuit. We would be the bad guys and outrun the authorities. We were cool dudes in that car. I couldn't wait until it got fixed, and I could take it for a spin.

Whenever I asked Dad what was wrong with the car, he would say "The valves needed ground". I didn't have a clue what that meant. It must have been serious, since that car sat in the side yard for several years.

One day a tow truck pull into the driveway. It was Dad's friend (who we referred to as "Uncle")who had bought our pool table when we sold it. He ran an auto salvage business (that's hi-faluting words for "junk yard"). I watched in horror as he hooked the tow bar up to MY CAR. I asked Dad what was going on. He said that since the car had never been fixed, and it had set for years, there was a really good chance that the engine had seized up. We never had enough money on hand, so the little bit that he would get from this car would help. I was crushed as I watched my car roll off into the sunset.

The End of the Fair

2011-07-30T21:46:00.009-04:00

Today marks the end of our county fair. We had open-to-the-world truck pulls today. The crowd wasn't nearly as large as rough truck. Today wasn't quite as hot as the earlier part of the week was either. Our church has finished it's roles of cleaning the grounds in the morning and parking the cars at night. Tomorrow, the local juvenile delinquents get to clean up the fair grounds. This is one of our major fundraisers at the church. We've been doing it for many years.

Today, nobody attempted to sneak through our area. How do you go from two dozen last night to none tonight. Easy. We had some extra teens, so I had two of them stand (in the shade) over by the area where the majority of the sneakers slip in. Since they could see that they were being watched, nobody tried. There were reports of sneakers in other locations though.

When I got home, one of the first things that I did was take off my sandals. I've worn them all week. My dog came over and sniffed them and walked to the other side of the room. My wife said "Wow, Those really do smell bad. I can smell them all the way over here". I took them and sprayed some Febreeze on them. I have never heard Febreeze scream before.

As promised, here are some pics from Thursday night when I took "The Boy" into the fair to ride rides:

On the way to the rides, we saw some free face painting. "The Boy decided to have a lizard done on his arm. I took a picture of it so he could remember it. I figured he would sweat it off. He did.

This is him on the first ride of the night. Doesn't he look excited?

This is him with a friend he made while standing in line. He always gets in line for this ride, but always chickens out at the last minute. Not this time. He rode it twice. Here is the ride from further back:

That's him in the first car. This thing rock back & forth until it goes all the way around. It goes all the way around six or seven times per ride.

He liked this ride except for the fact that since he was on the outside, he got squished by his buddy from the centrifugal force of the ride.

Here are a couple of short video clips from the fair. The first is the ride that goes upside down that The Boy rode twice. The second id him on the giant side.

Rough Truck Beats Nashville Again

2011-07-29T22:01:00.003-04:00

Tonight, Lee Brice & Steel Magnolia played a concert here at our county fair. Some of our parking crew predicted that the crowds would be huge. I don't know if the severe thunderstorm a few hours had anything to do the smaller crowd, but once again, the rough truck crowd was larger. I had a 3:15 doctor appointment. I figured I would be able to make it to the fair by 4:30 to park. At 5:15, I left the doctor's office. At least I didn't get caught outside in the torrential downpour.

There were, however, more people trying to sneak into the fair than any other night. No less than two dozen attempted to sneak in. The vast majority were apprehended by the deputies or the horseback patrol. The lucky ones were escorted to the gate to pay to get in, or leave if they couldn't pay. There were other who had charges pressed against them. The fine is more than the $5 saved. I really don't understand it. Five bucks. It just isn't worth it.

Flashback Friday # 147

2011-07-29T05:39:00.000-04:00

Fair Remembrances

A warm greeting to both of my loyal readers (what, you say I have more than two?) Since this week has found me at the county fair every night, I figured that I would rehash a few memories about some of the times that I went to fairs. This is a rambling remembrance so please try to follow along.

There was a time when I was but a lad, that Dad took me to a street fair at our county seat. He knew one of the concessionaires, so I got to cheat a bit on the dart throw. I got to stand inside the booth instead of in front of the counter. I popped three balloons and won a purple teddy bear.

Another time Dad & I ventured to the very fair that I have been working this week. Dad also knew a couple of the carnies there. At any of the rides that they worked, I didn't have to surrender any tickets. Free rides, what kid wouldn't like that? However, there was one ride that frightened me. It was the swings that go round & round, high & fast. During this ride, I began to slip out of the seat. there was only a lap bar, so if I continued to slide out, I would have been flung from the ride. I hung on for dear life. I was very relieved when the ride stopped. I never rode that ride again. As we were leaving, still with plenty of tickets in hand, a father & son were heading in. The boy asked his dad if he could ride some rides. Dad said, "We'll see what the prices are." Dad looked at me, I looked at Dad, and we both said, "We have some tickets that we didn't use. Do you want them?" It really made that kid's day.

Finally, "The Gravatron" was one ride that I really liked. Whenever I had a chance, I would ride it. I liked lifting my legs up while being pinned to the wall going round & round. Once, as this ride was coming to a halt, an Amish or Mennonite boy not too far from me, surrendered his lunch. How very glad I was that the ride had stopped. I can't imagine him doing that during the ride. Yuck!

Thuuuurrrsssday waaass ssllloooowww.

2011-07-28T22:59:00.002-04:00

Today was a really slow at the fair. Figure 8 bus races and antique tractor pulls. Our spot at camper village could have held at least 4 times the cars that were there. The heat index was 103, and the sweat was rolling off me today. I was thrilled when they called parking off at 7:30. That gave me a chance to take "The Boy" into the fair to play games & ride rides. He had a great time. More about his fair goings later on , I promise (I even have pictures to post).

Rough Night For Rough Truck

2011-07-27T21:18:00.003-04:00

Day four of the county fair is done. Tonight was "rough truck". To those who don't know what that is, let me explain. There is an obstacle course set up in front of the grandstand. Holes, barriers, mud. At the end, is a large hill in which the contestant is to ramp their truck off of. Whoever completes the course in the fastest time wins. This draws rednecks from all the surrounding counties because everyone likes to see someone else tear up their vehicle.

We were just as full back where my crew was parking as we were last night. The only difference was that there were NO areas cordoned off. Yes, we put that many more cars in that area. Sorry there are no pictures tonight, we were a mite busy.

We had quite the issue with teens trying to sneak into the fair by the area we park. No less than 17 attempted entry over the fence. My daughter, The Ogre, used her "Mom Voice" to dissuade several from crossing the fence. She would holler "Don't even think about trying to climb the fence!" The Sheriff Deputy said that they had apprehended 10 people who sneaked into the fair. Those people were charged with trespassing and kicked out of the fair for the duration. It just isn't worth trying to save $5.00 by sneaking in.

Tonight is usually the largest crowd. Some say that the entertainment on Friday, Lee Brice & Steel Magnolia will bring a larger crowd. I don't know. I've told folks before, I doubted if Garth Brooks could bring a larger crowd than rough truck. Except if he was going to tear up his truck on stage. That might make a difference.

Day Three Is Done

2011-07-26T21:54:00.005-04:00

Today was supposedly "the quiet day" at the county fair. Harness racing was the featured event at the grandstand. Usually that means a small crowd. Not tonight. There was also motocross at the back arena. In making a motocross course, they had to cordon off a large chunk of parking area. Those who usually parked there parked back in my area.

Not only did we have those who were displaced by the motocross, but there was also a large area cordoned off for a life flight helicopter to land. They wanted to be ready if a motocross rider was seriously injured. We filled the area all the way to the back fence, and started putting cars along the side fence.

While parking along the side fence, a study in contrasts came about:

You can tell how tall the truck is by looking at the PT Cruiser to the left. The Corvette to the right looks absolutely tiny.

Near the end of our shift, the Life flight chopper came in to land. We all gathered around since none of us had ever seen a helicopter this close up before. While watching it land, my grandson's hat was blown off. He thought that was really cool.

Day 2 Is In The Books

2011-07-25T20:48:00.003-04:00

The second day of our county fair was a mite busier than yesterday. Today was the demolition derby. I've always liked demolition derbies but as soon as we were finished parking, I was finished with the fair. As Ziva from "NCIS" would say "There were many redthroats there tonight." On the way out, there was a van that caught our attention. One of the ladies said that we should get it for our new church van. Here is a picture of it.

Let the Fair Begin

2011-07-24T21:12:00.003-04:00

Today was the 1st day of our county fair. That being said, it also marks the 1st day of our annual church fundraiser. We met at 3:30 to park the cars. Tractor pulls were tonight, so the redneck crowd was fairly thick. I got to take my crew up to camper village, which is one of the further points away from the fair. In the morning, A crew (of which I am not a part of) will assemble at the fairgrounds at 6 AM to clean up the grounds. We've been doing this for many a year. One day down, six to go.

Flashback Friday # 146

2011-07-22T05:55:00.003-04:00

Don't go in there

Welcome back to my rememberances & ramblings. Today, narrative deals with the closest I came to getting hazed by upperclassmen.

School had only ben in session a few months at this time. I walked into the boys restroom to relieve myself during the time to change classes. When I walked in, there were about seven Seniors in there at the time. One of them grabbed me by the arm and said, "Here's someone we can have fun with." I was dragged to the middle of the restroom.

The way the restroom was designed, there was a large clearing, since there were no stalls whatsoever. It was almost like a prison restroom. If a teacher walked in, he could see everything going on with one glance.

I hadn't paniced yet, but anxiety was rising fast. Then, I don't know why, the lights went out. Total darkness except for a faint glow near the door. I jerked my arm free and made a beeline for the door. I figured I could hold it until class had started, so these guys would be in thier classes. While everyone was working on an in class assignment, I asked for the hall pass. When I got there, the restroom was empty. From then on, I always asked for the hall pass if I had to go. Never again would I venture in between classes.

No Idea

2011-07-21T21:46:00.000-04:00

Does anyone have a clue why gas prices are doing what they are doing? Yesterday, on my way to work, I saw something strange. I pass three stations on my way to work. The prices, in order were $3.68, $3.38, and $3.55. Normally, in our small town, gas prices are within a few cents at every station.

I heard this explanation on the radio. "When gas prices are high, people drive around, not buying, in hopes of finding a cheaper price. Lack of purchasing drives prices down. When the prices are down, people rush to fill up. More purchasing drives the price up. It's all supply & demand. The consumers themselves are driving up the prices.".

Sure. That's why oil companies continually post huge profits.

Hot Enough For You?

2011-07-20T06:11:00.002-04:00

Like so many other places here in the good ol' USA, It is hot here. In my factory, it is generally 10 dergees hotter inside than the outside temperature. At our other plant is is closer to 15-20 degrees.

When it is this hot, we generally get an extra 5 minutes added to our breaks. The other day, we asked if we were getting the extra 5 and were told that we only get it, if it is 95 or higher. The question was asked, "Is that 95 outside or 95 inside?" There was no response given.

Flashback Friday # 145

2011-07-15T05:19:00.002-04:00

1st Homecoming Dance

Hello, good to see you again. As you can see from the title, the topic of the day is Homecoming. Since I was on Student Council, I had a part in the festivities.

As a fundraiser, the Student Council sold Homecoming corsages. I took my turn manning the table taking orders. I also took my turn at the table passing them out once they came in. I even bought one in hopes of being able to give it to my date.

The first person I asked was Doris.She turned me down. She was a Senior, after all. Perhaps I had set my sights too high.

I then asked the girl that I had been writing secret admirer notes to. She had already accepted an invitation from someone else. two rejections. I wasn't going to ask anyone else.

I decided to give the flower to my mom and go to the dance stag. My cousin (one of Aunt Shelly's kids) was going stag too, so he offered me a ride. Supposedly if you go stag, you can dance with anyone because you don't have someone holding you back. That's only good if you are able to muster up the gumption to ask someone to dance. I never did.

At the end of the dance (always a slow song), a girl asked me if I would care to dance with her. She was a Sophomore. I had seen her in school, but I didn't even know her name until I looked it up in the yearbook when I got home. I later found out that she had a boyfriend, but he had been too sick to make it to the dance. He told her to go and have fun.

I should have worn a name tag that said HELLO, My Name Is Wallflower.

The Drama of Facebook

2011-07-14T19:43:00.004-04:00

One of the biggest reasons that I don't have a Facebook account is the drama that accompanies it. "Why didn't you accept me as a friend?" "Why did you delete me from you friends list?" "Why did you write that on my wall?" "Why did you post that picture of me?" Please! If I want drama, I'll watch a soap.

By the way, this pic is my latest front page picture on the Cheezburger site "Historic LOLs".

Happy Birthday, Lady Nottaguy-TYG

2011-07-12T05:52:00.002-04:00

My wife's birthday is today. She will be 29.99 plus shipping & handling.

Flashback Friday # 144

2011-07-08T05:11:00.000-04:00

Whould You Like To Go To Church With Me?

Greeting friends. Welcome back for some more ramblings.

When I was young, I didn't attend church very often. There was a church about a mile down the road. Aunt Shelly & her kids went there. Every once in a great while my cousins would talk me into going with them. As you can tell from Flashback Friday #50, I didn't go often. Most of the time it was only if prizes were being given away.

When I was a Freshman, one of the Senior girls asked me to go to church with her. I knew her because her sister used to be married to my Aunt Bonnie's oldest son. After they divorced, she married a guy whose mother was very devout, and attended church frequently.I always thought Doris was cute. I really didn't care to go to church, but to spend time with her, sure, I'd go.

The first service I went to was a youth rally in Westerville. At Aunt Shelly's church, everyone was silent & somber. The folks made about as much noise as the folks in the graveyard beside the church. Not here. People shouted and danced in the aisle. It was like nothing I had ever seen before. There I met her pastor, who knew a couple of kids from my High School, even though his church was in Mt. Gilead.

Her home church was having a movie series on the end times. She invited me to each of these, and I went to them all. Their church was a small apartment over a store. You had to climb a large flight of stairs to get there. I can understand why they called it "The Upper Room". After the last movie in the series, Doris stopped going to church, so naturally I did too. I didn't think much about those few church services until about two years later (and that's a Flashback Friday all it's own, or maybe a few)

I didn't see much of Doris after that. I would see her in the hall by times. Whenever Sir Gattabout would come home on leave from the Army, Doris always made it a point to see him (I think she liked him all along). They last time I saw her was about 25 years ago on a delivery route through my hometown. She was tending bar at the local watering hole. How sad.

Two In One Day

2011-07-07T20:04:00.004-04:00

I hadn't had a front page pic on any of the cheezburger sites for a while. Today I got two. The first one was on "I has a hotdog"

The second one came on a new site called "Superheroes"

The 4th in West Virginia

2011-07-06T09:05:00.004-04:00

Over the 4th of July weekend, Lady Nottaguy-TYG & I made the trip to West Virginia for her family reunion. Since we left early Sunday morning, traffic was minimal. We made good time and only saw a few Highway Patrol cars I only went 5-10 miles over the speed limit).

We made it into Hinton earlier than we thought, so we made a side trip to Sandstone Falls. This is a really beautiful area.

We then went to Lady Nottaguy-TYG's cousin's house. I thought it was something special that a newlywed couple would not only invite us to spend the night at their home, but they also gave up their bed & slept on the fold away couch. They were "folks", which is a high compliment in my books. They also had a cute, rustic cabin that they lived in. I was really taken with the bathroom.

Not pictured was the showerhead (located behind the crescent moon outhouse door). It was a watering can with a large head. Whimsical and practical.

We didn't get to stay at the family reunion quite as long as we wanted. A nasty storm front was moving in. We figured we had better get a move on so we wouldn't be on the mountain when the storm hit. As we were heading for the freeway, I asked my wife if we should get some gas (we had a quarter tank). She didn't like the price & said we would stop closer to Beckley.

Needless to say, we drove into the storm. Rain came down in sheets. The speed limit was 70 mph, we were driving 40 mph. The trip up Sandstone Mountain really frightened me. Not only was the storm bad, but the effort exerted on the car was great. Halfway up the low gas light came on. When we got to the top, and hit the closest gas station, I put 12.46 gallons in our 13 gallon gas tank.

There were more storms all throughout West Virginia. Once we got back into Ohio, there was only one storm, then sunny skies. It was a long trip, but we enjoyed ourselves.

Flashback Friday # 143

2011-07-01T09:42:00.002-04:00

Mrs. Danielson

Greetings once again. Sorry the blogging has been slow this week. I promise you the week hasn't been. Last week I gave you a glimpse at one of my favorite teachers as a freshman. This week we look at perhaps the strangest.

To look at her, Mrs. Danielson looked like any older teacher you would see in any school district. She was about five years from retirement. It's what happened earlier in her life that set the strange tone to our Freshman English class (she also taught Honors English).

The story that I was told is that several years ago she came home and found her husband dead. He had hanged himself. As expected, she didn't take it well.

The impact that it had in class was that every novel or short story we had to read in her class dealt with someone getting killed. Not just in our class. Every class. I can remember reading "The Lottery" (a town holds a drawing to see who will die to insure that the crops will grow), "The Cask of Amontillado" (Poe's tale of a man being bricked up alive inside a wall), "Moby Dick" (Ahab's insane quest to destroy the creature that took his leg) and "The Most Dangerous Game" (A big game hunter hunts people because animals no longer challenge him). She also was able to find these stories on film, so we got to watch the people die as well.

The most memorable thing about her class was during the time we were watching "Moby Dick". The student council was selling Atomic Fireballs during lunch to raise some money. At that time, they cost a whopping 2 cents apiece. Since I was on student council, I took my turn behind the sales table. Just before lunch was over, I bought 50 cents worth of them (That's 25 for those of you who can't do math without a calculator). Back then I loved them. Today I can't eat them because they give me intense heartburn.

But I digress. My class with Mrs. Danielson was right after lunch. While the classroom was dark, I began to pop fireballs into my mouth. Carefully I unwrapped the cellophane and snuck it in. My best friend, Bart, caught on to what I was doing and paid as much attention to me as he did to the movie. I wanted to see just how many fireballs I could get into my mouth. I got to 10. I got to 15. At 20, I was just barely able to keep my lips together. Drool seeped from the corner of my mouth. I looked like a chipmunk. When the bell rang, I was one of the first out of the room. Luckily I had study hall next, so I was able to finish my mouthful of fireballs.

I Really Don't Like Doctor Visits

2011-06-27T16:41:00.003-04:00

I dislike them so much that I scheduled three of them today.

First off I made it over to the lab for some wellness screenings (thank you insurance company).Those who know me know that I hate needles. Poke. When Dracula was finished taking my blood, I had to wait a few hours until my next appointment.

A few weeks ago, I developed a nasty ingrown toenail. I was on antibiotics for two weeks to knock out the infection before they could do anything with it. I must admit, the podiatrist I went to was one of the most calming doctors that I had ever been to. It helped that I knew him from when we were both chaperoning a band trip to Toronto. He gave me 10 brownie points the moment he saw me because I was wearing an OSU shirt (he's an alumni). At least before the pokes that I knew were coming, he numbed the toe with some really cold spray. Once the toe was numb, he cut out the serrated knife that had become the edge of my toenail.

The next appointment was set 4 months earlier. It was merely a checkup on my right knee from my orthopedic surgeon. No needles there. (YAY!!!)

I used a vacation day from work today to get all the appointments in. Some vacation.

Flashback Friday # 142

2011-06-24T05:59:00.000-04:00

Mr. Carver

Greetings one & all (maybe not all. There is someone who has been very nosey). In last week's post, I mentioned that someone hollered out "Teacher's coming". That teacher would be Mr. Carver (if you are a new reader, I rarely ever use anyone's real name, or the real name of a business, because they don't pay me to advertise.)

Mr. Carver a recent college graduate (I don't know if we were his first teaching assignment). He taught General Science & Earth Science. He may have taught other classes, but those are the classes I had. One of the main things I remember about him is that he called us "gang". "OK gang, I need your attention." "OK gang, turn to page 153." "Hey, gang, Would you please pay attention to the lesson?"

The other thing that stands out is that even though he was a Science teacher, he didn't believe in evolution. He told us that he wasn't allowed to tell us what he believed, but this isn't it. He said that he was responsible for giving us the information and we could do with it as we pleased. He then went on to explain that evolution wasn't as scientific as everyone made it out to be. He gave us the information from the book, but didn't force feed it to us. I liked that.

What is really funny about Mr. Carver is that his son & Lady Lemon graduated together. I ran into him at a football game and he said he was there because his son was in the band (as was Lady Lemon). He had become the guidance counsellor at my school & was applying for the local guidance counsellor job.

And Yet, Another Major Award

2011-06-21T21:37:00.005-04:00

Each year, two of my protegees give out "fabulous prizes" on Father's Day. Once you win, You are ineligible to win again. Good thing. I was in the running for at least four of the prizes (1-longest time not washing their car, or in my case truck. 2- Most keys on your keyring. 3- Most pictures in your wallet).

The one prize that I was not only in the running, but was the runaway winner was "Which dad is the biggest packrat?" As soon as I heard the word "packrat" leave the lips of the presenter, I turned to my assistant Sunday School teacher and said "I'm doomed". My "Major Award" was a padlock to put on the storage shed that I will need to keep all the stuff in.

Both of my Parents are packrats. My grandfather ran a trash route in which he kept the good stuff being thrown out. I'm third generation. I am also a professional packrat. Part of my job is to store the leftover materials (known as "tags & centers") from the jobs that I cut. If it can be used again, I'm in charge of it. It really is a "Don't throw it away, it might come in handy" type of job.

This is the third year in a row that I have won one of these prestigious awards. You can read about the first one here.

You can read about the second one here.

Where Did She Go?

2011-06-20T22:13:00.003-04:00

If there is anyone out there who is used to reading my wife's blog, and now you can't find it, send me an e-mail. Due to unforeseen circumstances, she had to take the old blog down and create a new one.

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T01:01:00.001-04:00

A hearty Happy Father's Day to all who stumble upon this post in a timely manner. I did some rummaging and came up with this beauty from many Father's Day ago:

When you a tot, and try to sound out the word "Pop", you get the above word. Mrs. Lemon made this for in Sunday School when she was in Kindergarten. Her teacher was appalled. I've kept it all these years.

Flashback Friday # 141

2011-06-17T07:48:00.010-04:00

The Fight

Greetings to all who have stumbled upon these ramblings (You really didn't come here on purpose, did you?). I have prepared a ringside seat for you at this momentous occasion. Many times I had the potential to be in a fight, but due to divine intervention, it never came to fruition.

Since I missed so much time at the beginning of school in my Freshman year I had a few "unusual" seating assignments. The most unusual was in my General Science class. Our teacher, Mr. Carver, was apologetic when I showed up. All of the desks were occupied. The only seating left in class was at the experiment stations, where the faucets and Bunsen burner outlets were. There were tall stools at these stations.

The danger of these stations was the fact that these stool weren't affixed to the writing surface (like the desks) and could be slid out from behind you with ease. I witness this a couple of times during experiments, and came up with a way to make sure it didn't happen to me. If I was standing, I would insert my left leg into the stool legs to keep from being pulled away.

One day, before class, a group of us were at the experiment station looking at a magazine that someone brought in. One kid, Felix Mallard, ran with the rougher crowd. He was good friends with Derrick, who was a hood that I had trouble with before. As we were talking about the magazine, he stealthily grabbed hold of my stool and yanked it away. Since my leg was interlocked with the stool legs, the stool slid all the way up my leg until it could travel no farther (I think you know where it ended). I yanked my stool away from him, gave him a shove and told him to knock it off. He then took a swing at me. Seeing that I had spent my life trying to survive the onslaughts of my brother, I dodged. The blow missed my face, but caught the very edge of my glasses, and sent them flying across the room.

BIG MISTAKE!!! Since I can't read much past my nose without my glasses, and my family couldn't afford to replace them at a whim, I was very protective of them. When they flew off, it was like taking the harness & bindings from a pit bull at a dog fight. The berserker was loosed.

I don't remember what all happened, but I came to my senses when someone hollered "Teacher's coming". Felix was crouched in the corner with his arms crossed over his head. I had been raining blows down upon him like a fierce thunderstorm. Someone handed me my glasses, which were a bit bent, but otherwise unscathed. Felix was very quiet throughout class.

Later in the day, Derrick walked up to me smugly and said "I heard the Felix kicked your ***." I looked at him and said "Oh really? Anytime you want what he got today, just let me know." I think he really knew what happened. Surprisingly enough, I never had any trouble with him, or any of his toadies after that. I also never was involved in another fight.

Game 7 of The Stanley Cup

2011-06-16T06:06:00.004-04:00

There is nothing more exciting than game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals (unless it is overtime in game 7). In this years Finals, the home team has won every game. Game 7 was in Vancouver . One would think that it was inevitable that the Canucks would hoist the Cup at the end of the night.

The Boston Bruins had other plans. The Bruins goalie, Tim Thomas, absolutely stood on his head in posting a 4-0 shutout of the Canucks. No other goalie in NHL history has had a shutout, on the road, in a game 7. There have only been 16 game 7 since the NHL began in the early 1900's. Thomas also set a record for the most saves during the playoffs. This record was set in 1942. He also won the Conn Smyth Trophy (Finals MVP). He is the first American born goalie to do so. Only one other American has won this trophy, Brian Leetch, Defenseman of the NY Rangers.

Boston is also one the second team ever in sports history (that' ALL of sports) to win three game 7s in a single playoff. The beat the Canadians in 7 in the first round. They beat Tampa Bay in the Eastern Conference Finals in 7. They then beat the Canucks in in the Stanley Cup finals in 7.

Boston won their first Cup since 1972.

Photo courtesy of Sports Illustrated

Thank You Dallas Mavericks!

2011-06-13T05:35:00.004-04:00

Ever since last summer, when a certain unnamed player took his talents to South Beach, I have been rooting against the Miami Heat. My favorite team was whoever was playing the Heat.

When the playoffs started, Miami was the #2 seed in the Eastern Conference. They first played the Philadelphia 76ers and won that series. Then they played The Boston Celtics and won that series too. They then had to play #1 seed Chicago Bulls. Again they won and off to the NBA Finals.

They played the Dallas Mavericks in The Finals. I like The Mavericks. Many people have a problem with their owner, Mark Cuban. He is vocal. He is a supporter of his players. He wants to win. He is a fan, not just an owner hoping to make a buck.

The Mavericks were the underdog. Everyone expected Miami to sweep. Miami was destined to win the Championship because they now had three superstars on their roster. All they had to do was throw their jocks out on the court to win. If any team had a sense of entitlement, it was the Heat.

Dallas beat the Heat in six games to win the NBA Finals. They were, by far, the better team. They have been through some difficult times in the playoffs. They came back from large deficits in each series. There were some long time veterans on that team that have never been on a championship team. MVP Dirk Nowiski won his first ring.In fact, everybody on this team won their first ring. He could have whined and left for greener pastures because he had no superstar help like the above mentioned player who will not be named. He stuck with his team and was rewarded with the Championship.

picture courtesy of Sports Illustrated.

Face it, All Men Do It.

2011-06-11T09:02:00.002-04:00

My wife tell me that I don't listen. Can anyone else out there say that about their husband? She will say, "I told you about that a few days ago." My response is "I don't rember anything about that." So, in order to honor the tradition, I made this LOL that made front page of ROFLrazzi (one of the Cheezburger network sites).

Flashback Friday # 140

2011-06-10T05:59:00.000-04:00

Clubs & Organizations

Welcome again to those who have returned for another helping of re-hashing my past. If this is your first time here, go ahead and make yourself comfortable and click on the Flashback Friday label to see other stories of my youth. They make wonderful sleep aids (just saying).

Being a Freshman in High School means you need to interact with those in the upper classes. How is the best way to meet them? I know by experience that it isn't in the boys room (more on that later). I got to form friendships with those older than me by joining some of the extra-curricular activities offered by my school.

The first club that I joined was the "Media Club". I had some experience with video machines, and wanted to get to know more about the various gadgets available at the school. The Media club members were also student librarians. I can truthfully say that I was there when our school got it's first computer (ooohhhh). This was part of the forming of the inner geek in me.

I also Joined the Spanish club. Being a first year Spanish student meant that I didn't know the language too well, but I had heard that they went out to Mexican restaurants & watched classic movies dubbed in Spanish. Sounded like fun to me.

I took Home Ec. as a Freshman because I didn't want to be one of those guys who wind up with pink underwear when they do laundry or can't sew a button back on. There was also the factor that the class was loaded with girls.This brings me to the other organization that I joined. You may think this is quirky,but it was FHA (That's Future Homemakers of America for those of you not in the know). The year I joined, it added the acronym HERO to the end making it FHA/HERO. HERO stood for Home Economic Related Occupations. There I not only got to meet girls from upper classes, but I got to meet girls from around the county. The guys laughed initially (since most of them were in FFA) but when I explained why I did it, they admired my reasoning.

Since I road the bus to & from school, they only was to get home after a club meeting was to wait for Dad to get home. The meetings were over about 4-4:30. He didn't get home until five. It gave me some time to do what ever homework I had, or watch those in sports practicing.

That's My Boy

2011-06-08T18:02:00.001-04:00

My grand son, "The Boy" enjoys looking at the funny pictures on the Cheezburger Network with me. The other day, I received a picture of a funny sign that he spotted.

He's a chip off the ol' block.

Flashback Friday # 139

2011-06-03T05:41:00.002-04:00

Student Council

Hello friends. Welcome back for another stroll down memory lane.

Today we delve into the government of our schools, Student Council.I had extensive experience in running for this office. In 7th grade, I lost by only two votes. In 8th grade, I lost by one vote ( The bad thing about that is I voted for the guy who beat me). I figured I'd throw my hat in the ring for another try. The worst I could do was lose again.

In preparing for the run, all applicants had to have thirty of your fellow students sign a petition. The petition was then turned into the teacher who was overseeing the council. The names were then put on a ballot for each class to vote on. The top two vote getters were awarded seats on counsel. All the club presidents were members also.

I collected the required signatures (actually I got 31. A boy signed for his sister so I covered my bases) and turned in my petition. I knew the other two who were running too. I could only hope.

When election day came, the ballots were passed out during lunch. Since lunch was broken up into three time slots, members of my class came in at different times. It was after 1st lunch that an issue arose.

On the Freshman ballot, only two people were listed on the ballot. During 2nd lunch, the boy who was left off the ballot sought out the Student Council advisor. Why wasn't he listed on the ballot, he asked. The advisor told him it was because he hadn't turned in his petition. OH, He forgot. Running to his locker, he gave it to the advisor and asked if he still could be on the ballot. She told him that if he could convince people to put him on as a write-in candidate, he could run. It was already 3rd lunch.

Needless to say, the boy wasn't elected. I was elected, along with a popular girl (who also was a cheerleader). The boy wasn't satisfied. He began a petition to have another election since he had been left off the ballot (due to his own fault). He had the audacity to ask me to sign it. Years earlier I would have. I told him "NO". I won the election fair & square. His petition petered out and I settled in as a Student Council member.

No Paparazzi Please

2011-06-02T15:55:00.003-04:00

I took this video the other night. Normally "The Girl" is a charmer for the camera. She must have been in one of those moods. Can you say Hollywood personality?

Feel free to LOL, ROFL or WYL.

So Long Tress

2011-05-30T22:26:00.003-04:00

Today, Ohio State Head Coach Jim Tressel resigned. The man was a great coach. If you put any big time school under the microscope the OSU has been under, you will find NCAA violations.

I, for one, will miss him.

Flashback Friday #138

2011-05-27T05:54:00.003-04:00

Poultry In Motion

Hello again. Hop in the way back machine with me and we'll head back to early in my ninth grade year in High School (that would be 1978).

There was a girl that I had liked in Jr. High, but I was the biggest chicken in the world.

Socially awkward would be an understatement. To compound matters, I had called her cousin "fat & ugly" in Elementary School. Since I was too chicken to say anything to her, I became her "Secret Admirer". Today some would call it stalking, but since this was 1978, and I was all of 14, it was acceptable.

Because I was too shy, awkward, self-conscious (you can stop me any time) to talk to her, I wrote poetry and slipped it into her books while she wasn't paying attention. She sat in front of me in most of the classes, due to the fact that our last names began with the same letter, and most teachers sat us alphabetically until they could put a face with a name.

Drop a pencil, slip a poem into the books on the rack under the desk. Walk to my desk, slip a poem in while she is talking to friends before the bell rings. I kept this up for about two weeks.

Then disaster struck. While slipping a poem in her book, one of her friends caught me. This friend knew no secrets. The jig was up.

She never said anything to me, and I didn't go to her to tell her why I was doing it. I assumed that since she said nothing, she didn't like me, or still held a grudge about her cousin. What I didn't know was that she was waiting for me to make the first move, since she also was shy.

I found out a couple years later (after we had become very good friends) that she was infatuated with the poems. She said that one more would have been all that it would taken to completely woo her. Oh well, I was beginning to run out of ideas to write about anyway.

Did you have a secret admirer? Were you ever one yourself?

Can Help?

2011-05-26T05:47:00.003-04:00

I was planting some posies the other day when I heard a small voice behind me ask "Can Help?".

I made the holes and my helper put the bulbs in. I just had to take a picture of it & send it to my wife & daughter. I then sent a text to my wife saying "Everything is planted." She sent back "Including the kid?" I think my humor is rubbing off on her.

Kisses From Another

2011-05-22T06:39:00.003-04:00

Recently, there was an event at church that had small bowls of Hershey chocolate candy on each table. Who doesn't like Hershey Kisses, Rolos & Reeses Peanut Butter Cups? Reeses are my favorite, but I'll eat the others.

Afterward, while we were cleaning up, I handed the remains of a bowl to one of the ladies in our church. There were two Rolos & eight kisses left. She said I could have the remaining candy and dumped them in my shirt pocket.

I looked at her and said "Just wait until my wife finds out that you gave me a bunch of kisses." Her eyes got real big and she let out an audible gasp. She is quite prone to "gotchas" and I definitely got her there. I told my wife the story while giving her the two Rolos (one of her favorites). "I can't believe she didn't see that set-up coming.", she said.

A little later, after supper at a Mexican restaurant, I reached into my shirt pocket & offered one of the candies back to the lady who gave them to me. "Oh no, you're not going to get me this time.", she exclaimed. "No," I replied "Since they have been in my pocket & are starting to get melty, I was going to give you a sloppy kiss."

I thought the other lady sitting with us was going to roll on the floor. Later that night my wife told me "There are times when your humor irritates me, and drives me crazy, but that was really funny."